Okay, maybe that's a bit dramatic. Or maybe not. Is it just me, or has everything gone to pot lately? Since when did it become socially acceptable to over-share?
When one logs onto Facebook or Myspace or Twitter or even their friendly, neighborhood chat room, do they really want to read what sexual position you and the boyfriend tried out last night? Or that you wound up in the E.R. because of an untreated hygienic problem?
My resounding answer is not just "No," but "HELL NO!" complete with shuddering.
Unfortunately, this seems to be where I found myself this morning. Rocking out to my "Best of the 80's" playlist and staring in shock at my computer screen.
Have the boundaries of what is and what is not socially acceptable been broken down to near non-existence? Or have I become the crotchety old woman gasping at the slightest faux pas? I so hope it's not the latter, I would like to think that 28 isn't that ancient.
And so I ask all of you...
Where do you draw the line? How much is over-sharing? Can I tell you about what I ate for lunch but NOT about how well it was digested? Or would you not mind hearing about all of that but would prefer I keep stories about bedroom Olympics to myself? (Not that I would share those stories...or even use that term. *shudder* Just trying to make a point here.)
And now that I've shared all that wonderful food for thought, I'm gonna bail on ya. I've got buckets of laundry to get caught up on and whatnot. Toodles, my dears!
Oh, it's a sad day for the single ladies around here. The last available man of the band has been snatched up. And it's about time too.
After nearly a year with these guys in my life, I've started thinking of them like a group of big brothers. I love them all even though there are times that I want to strangle them or shake them until good sense returns. But I am sad when they are stuggling and estatic when they are happy. Today is an estatic day.
When the boyfriend joined the band, he (i.e. a man in a committed relationship) was part of the minority, holding down the fort with the married drummer. Then Miss J snagged the other guitarist. And Miss B grabbed onto the bass player and neither of them are letting go. We were left with a single lead singer. But now, no longer...he has found himself a lovely lady and though we've only hung out a few times, I think she's gonna be around for awhile :)
And in light of all of this happy, lovey-dovey nonsense, I've composed a special Top 9 list for you. Since it's been forever and whatnot. I know, I know, I've really been off my game lately. I'll apologize profusely later. Until then, enjoy!
Top 9 Signs Your Girlfriend Might Be Getting Sick of You
* She lovingly suggests a "Boys Night Out."
* She's not answering your calls or texts any longer.
* Your dinner has an arsenic aftertaste.
* She repeatedly calls you "Tom" during sex...and your name is Bill.
* You come home to find your clothes decorating the front lawn.
* She's suddenly stopped planning your wedding.
And if you can't get the point from all of these helpful tips...then maybe you should run along and help her get that wood chipper unjammed. Just be careful not to fall in, mmmkay?
I hope you enjoyed today's list :) Have a great week, y'all!
Does it count as pillow talk if it doesn't happen in bed? I think it should, especially since it was nearing 2am and the boyfriend and I were oh-so-tired.
As you may or may not know, the boyfriend wears glasses/contacts. That is to say, he usually wears contacts, but also has glasses for when he's not wearing contacts. If he doesn't have one or the other, apparently things become all sorts of fuzzy. Not so good if you're trying to play guitar or subsequently drive your tipsy girlfriend home in the wee hours of the morning.
So we arrive home, but are both so tired that we are just kind of sitting there in the car. Earlier in the evening, the boyfriend had asked me to keep his glasses in my purse in case he needed them. (He's been having some issues with his contacts the last few days, so he was taking precautions.) Fast forward to us in the car, chatting.
Me: "We should probably head inside and get to bed."
Him: "I need to take my eyes out and put my glasses on."
Me: "Oh, let me give them to you now, that way I don't forget. You know how I am. I'll get inside and forget that I have them in my purse and then I'll set it down somewhere and then we won't be able to find your eyes." (May I remind you that I was a little tipsy?)
Him (mockingly): "Where are my eyes? The one-eyed-man took them. You'd think he could have at least left half of them."
Me: "He's a greedy sonovabitch."
And we explode into giggles. Yeah, I'm just that good.
I should probably explain that the one-eyed-man is a recurring villain at our house. It's my little rejoinder every time the boyfriend says, "Oh no" or "Oh shit" or "Where is such-and-such item?"
Me: "I didn't do it, it was the one-eyed-man!"
I'm real mature like that.
Well, about as mature as you can be while having pillow talk in your car.
I've been pouring out my heart and soul for so long, trying so very hard to make EVERYTHING work, to balance life and still be sane.
Newsflash:
I am NOT sane. Not in the slightest.
My hair is falling out, I have days where I'm ravenous and stuff myself with everything in sight and others where I can't eat a thing and my body aches with pent up anxiety. I tear up at random moments and find myself bawling at the simplest of things. I can't keep unloading on the boyfriend, he already has so much on his shoulders. I feel like my girls have got to be tired of hearing the same tirades and my bff has his own life to lead without trying to navigate mine as well.
I have tried and tried to keep the negative, whining, less than stellar parts of my life from this blog...but, alas, it can't be done. I am at my wits end, quite literally.
Don't get me wrong, there have been some good points over the recent weeks. Yesterday I got my hair trimmed and now it has a few more layers and I feel like I look a little less like Medusa. I also got a new phone and so I've been busy playing with a new toy. The boyfriend took me on a date to see The Green Hornet in 3D. And it was AWESOME.
But at the end of the day, I still have to turn off the lights, lay in bed and be alone with my own mind. And, quite frankly, my mind is not such a great place to be lately.
Ironic (maybe) that I have memorable dreams the night before MLK day, don't you think? Except my dreams weren't the lofty dreams of equality and peace. I dreamt about all of my teeth falling out. It was more than a little creepy. Like, I think I might call a dentist today...just to be on the safe side.
I heard something on the news last night about MLK day that irked me. I don't remember what station or who said it...but someone was saying that in today's times we need to remember MLK's message of tolerance.
This didn't irk me because I don't believe in tolerance. On the contrary, I think tolerance is a grand idea. However, we are a society who take things literally. And in today's age, complete tolerance is unrealistic. We can tolerate our neighbors without granting them carte blanche to our homes and personal information. There CAN be a balance between tolerance and caution. We need to remember that tolerance and ignorance do not need to go hand in hand.
And so, I was irked that whomever said this little gem didn't elaborate. To them, tolerance was the answer. It is...but is not the only answer.
I will leave you with this bit of food for thought:
I am not racist. I do not discriminate due to race. I am prejudiced against stupid people and trash. Last time I checked, each race (even my own Native Americans) have each. And until we, as a global community, can eradicate the ignorant fools and the trash that clutters our gutters; we will always have racism.
Nearly every shot of the master bedroom includes the line: "This is where the magic happens."
I've always wanted to ask, "Where the hell do you sleep, then?"
Last night I realized that maybe, just maybe, not all of those people were referring to sex.
It's light's out and the boyfriend and I are snuggling, saying good night and I love you and whatnot when this gem comes out: "How many people do you know that would punch you in the nose and then make you breakfast? That's right. Now go to sleep, I love you."
Now before you all get up in arms...I was offering to punch the boyfriend, NOT the other way around. Also, I would never actually hit him..unless, of course, he's kicking my ass in cards. Then, and only then, I have been known to slap his arm.
I get a little worked up sometimes. I can't help it.
So, rewind to the beginning of the convo that prompted previously mentioned gem.
The boyfriend mentioned that he didn't want to go to work in the morning. I offered to punch him in the nose. He said no, because he didn't want to miss tonight's gig. I countered that if I punched him early enough in the morning he could miss work but be fine and dandy by tonight's gig. He wasn't sold on the idea so I offered to make him breakfast in bed after I punched him. I thought it was a great deal.
He didn't.
So alas, he woke up and went to work this morning. I made him breakfast anyway...well, sort of. If nuking a breakfast burrito counts as "making him breakfast".
Anywho...the boyfriend made a very good point before we FINALLY went to sleep last night. I should start a new blog topic and call it Pillow Talk and have it be all the wacky things that get said while we just lay there talking.
In case you're wondering, I already tweeted it this morning. Maybe we can make it a Trending Topic, whatcha think?
Just kidding, I'm not really sick. Unless aches and pains are catching...in which case, you might not want to get too close. Is it normal to have arthritis at 28?
On another note, it was a busy weekend. Or maybe it just feels that way. Could I be getting senile? Lord help us, that's all we need now. Demented Kitty. Remember the name, you'll be seeing it in the news...
So as I was saying, it was a busy weekend. The band was hosting a hospitality suite at the fair convention Friday and Saturday. Translation: I saw very little of the boyfriend on Friday...and only slightly more on Saturday. Although, the other girlfriends and I did decide to join the guys Saturday night and partake of some of the free booze and snacks that were flowing. I saw someone literally crack open a wine bottle. (With a knife, y'all!) I also saw someone drink out of a dirty wine glass. As in she grabbed Miss B's used glass off of the counter, saw that there was a little left, took the last swallow and then refilled the glass and preceded to drink. We were all more than a little grossed out. And before you ask, no, none of us knew this lady so it wasn't like she was drinking after a friend. Which still would have been repugnant. Who drinks someone else's backwash?
Ooooh...but I did get a new purse and sweater on Saturday, so I was feeling pretty dolled up :) Every once in a while my inner girly-girl comes out. I can't tell if the boyfriend likes it or not yet...especially since it usually involves me spending money.
Sunday was fabulous. Bottom line folks. I let the boyfriend sleep in and surprised him with one of his favorite breakfasts in bed. Stuffed french toast. It's sinful. Then we watched some football and finally got our lazy booties in gear. We stopped at the store for a few last minute groceries and it was off to Miss J's for dinner and game night. In hindsight, the boyfriend was really spoiled since I made one of his favorites for dinner too...
Also, it would appear that since our schedules have all realigned, game night is back on for Sunday evenings :) YAY!!! I heart game night. It's a way to relax with some of my favorite people, there's always good food involved and who doesn't love a little friendly competition? Exactly. It's a blast and it's a great way to unwind after a busy weekend. And since the band successfully schmoozed people this last weekend, I foresee many more busy weekends in our future.
Note to self: Stock up on the wine.
And even though today is Monday, my good mood is not dampened. (Unless you count the aches and pains...which I don't.) Tonight the Oregon Ducks will be playing in the BCS National Title game. And I will be watching. With the boyfriend. And possibly a few close friends. It promises to be a fantastic time! Especially since it's kinda like a date night for the boyfriend and I. We all know how much I love date nights :)
I have to say folks, even though we didn't win the lottery (and yes, we did buy tickets...), 2011 is starting off to be a pretty decent year.
On one hand it doesn't feel like an entire year has passed since I sat down and started exploring the blogging community. On the other, it feels like I've been writing my tales for you all forever. (Not in that "this has totally gotten old and stale" way either...)
Not so long ago when the boyfriend and I were celebrating our one year anniversary, we did something that I loved. Laying in bed one night we looked back over our year together and pointed out memories that we made each month. Since January is generally about saying goodbye to the past and moving forward, that's what I would like to do here.
Random Meows was born with a tale of procrastination and turtle/ducks. We travelled back in time and learned about personal bubbles. I wrote about passion and shared my bucket list. Not too shabby for a start, eh?
I gave up soda for Lent and took on the First Lady. We mused about what it would be like to be a guy for a day and the power of thought. From Pepsi to prayer, all in one month.
I got up close and personal, we talked about tomatoes and how gross feet are. I gave Michael Strahan some dental advice and argued with the television during one of many bouts with the cold from hell. I also talked about getting older and my obsession with dirty songs. It was an informative month.
I jumped on my soapbox and got REALLY personal. I became a groupie. I had an unorthodox Easter and shared my boyfriend application. We talked about Dr. Love, Top 9 Lists were born and I bashed on superheroes. The inner bitch was starting to emerge.
We drooled over dream men and I had an allergic reaction. I hinted that I might want to be someone just a little more funky and told you about things that creep me out. I had some pillow talk and jumped back on the soapbox in the name of FREEDOM. Disney made an appearance and I argued with the T.V. some more. Chester Bennington and ferrets...it just doesn't get more diverse than that.
We truffle-shuffled our way through the 90's and discovered Ja-Mexicans. I shared my favorite authors with you and missed out on Father's Day. We talked about people I love to hate and I shared my redneck tales. I also learned that I don't like grape vodka. Who knew?
The boyfriend and I ran away for the 4th and I entered my candidacy for sainthood. My favorite funny guys made an appearance as well as a guy in a dress. I talked about aromatherapy and shared the fact that I'm a lush. Here's to the High Life, indeed.
I gave you 28 years of knowledge while the boyfriend and I had a "Weird" birthday. I got my first gig as a freelance writer and shared my favorite desserts with you. I braved the triple digit temps and introduced Tips for 'Tards. We discovered that I am not, in fact, down with the sickness...nor do I like IT being what IT is.
I took a trip to the E.R. and was exposed to more than just germs. The computer took a nose dive and I was MIA for a bit. Kotter brought me back just in time to take on the entire male species.
The boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary with the pornographic dancers. We planted flowers for my baby. Mike and Molly made their debut into our lives while I pondered illiteracy and gave you my favorite songs of all time. Aren't I the generous one?
Medusa told us all about Halloween and I called the entertainment industry out on some of its 'Tards. The cold from hell came back and we saw T.V. favorites from my childhood. I sent kudos to my fellow bloggers and New Kids made a comeback. I gave thanks and cooked my first holiday meal for the boyfriend.
I shared the greatest story ever told, parts one and two and made a holiday bazaar wish list. I contemplated running away and gave you a list of places I would go. We had loss and heartbreak. I gave relationship advice as only I can and shared some holiday nostalgia. Together we raced towards the end of 2010.
And now, on this alternately dreary and slightly sunny January day, I look back on 2010 with a smile of accomplishment. This blog and the writing that it has inspired and produced were the makings of the first New Year's resolution I've ever been able to keep for the entire year. Sure there were times I faltered or struggled, but week after week there was another post to prove to myself that I could, in fact, do this.
A huge thank you to all my readers. Without you, there would be no me. Well, there would, but I probably wouldn't still be online. Except maybe on Facebook...that thing is like crack.
I hope 2011 is as fruitful and rewarding as 2010 was...for all its ups and downs, I still came out on top last year. And in the end, that's all that really matters folks.
However, I've promised myself that I will not start this new year of blogging with whining...so, moving on.
Friday night's bash was...well, it had its ups and downs. One of my good friends came to visit and got to see the band play for the first time. We had a drink and chatted and laughed while we people watched. She left early to head to another party and I proceeded to capture the last night of 2010 on digital film (or lack there of, as the case may be).
Miss J came by for a few minutes right as the ball was getting ready to drop. We both got our midnight kisses from the boyfriends and then exchanged well wishes for the new year. She headed home to continue the kid-friendly party there and I settled in for the last set.
Insert a question for you all:
Is it considered good luck when one starts the new year off with a hit to the head?
Not ten minutes after the guys headed back on-stage, I get a nice whack to the head. Now the only thing that might be construed good about this scenario is that I was hit by one of those plastic containers that sit on the tables and hold lotto slips. So maybe I'm supposed to get knocked over by a large sum of money? I dunno...but maybe the boyfriend and I should go buy a few lotto tickets tonight.
We finished the evening and headed over to Miss J's for the after party. I played DD so the boyfriend could have a few drinks. I also played the new Pictionary with the little man that you draw on...I wasn't great. But I wasn't terrible either :)
A synopsis of our New Year's Day? The boyfriend got to experience his first ever hangover (Miss J makes her drinks strong and sweet...they'd kill a candy cane, folks.), we both slept way in and had a nice lazy day which lovingly stretched into Sunday as well.
Anywho...as many of you may know, this Thursday marks a very special day. It is the official one year anniversary of Random Meows. What you may not know is that the birth of RM was the result of one of 2010's resolutions. For as long as I can remember, I've had either a book or a pen in my hand. If I wasn't reading something, I was trying to write something worth reading. Last year, while discussing in what direction I wanted my life to move, I told the boyfriend that I was going to start writing again...and seriously this time. A few short days later I had my answer. I would start a blog. And good, bad or otherwise, I would work at it all year long and see where it took me.
Well folks, this is where it has taken me:
I am now a freelance writer with three different companies that host my work. I have this blog and one other that will be returning from hiatus this year. I have a Facebook fan page and I have people in multiple cities and at least two different countries who read Random Meows.
Not too shabby for a girl who spends the better part of her days in her jammies.
And so I say to you:
A resolution can be made and kept if your heart is in it. I am already working on my resolutions for 2011 and will be sharing them with you shortly.
A great big thank you to all who read my ramblings each week. I know for a fact I wouldn't have been able to make it a whole year without your support, ideas and feedback. And to everyone out there who's struggling and wanting to make some changes, remember this:
Our desires are held back only by our fears. Change is the necessary spice to life. The path to each of our dreams begins with a single step. How many steps will you make this year?
The guitar-playing rockstar love of my life. The reason I finally realized my dream of being a writer. My other half...or maybe my better half. Probably my best half.
The Band
The Rock N Roll Cowboys. The boyfriend's band. The guys that let me follow them around with a camera.
Nubs
Otherwise known as M. My bestest friend next to the boyfriend. If I could have a twin brother, it would be him. Now if he would only hurry up and open his restaurant so I can become his food critic.
Miss J
The original fellow groupie. Her boyfriend is the other guitar player. She's also the reason I'm often sane and crazy at the same time.
Miss B
A fellow groupie. Her boyfriend is the bass player. Her frustration with the stupid people in the world inspired "Tips for 'Tards". I owe her lots.
Miss T
The newest addition to the groupie gang, she's the drummer's daughter. A shy girl with a recent heartbreak, the other girls and I have taken her under our wings. We WILL break her out of her shell.
Miss Vi
An absolute doll, she is my creative spark on a rainy day. She also reminds me just a bit of Dita Von Tess so, needless to say, I have a little bit of a crush on her.
My Lovely Sunshine
A ray of light when I need it. Probably the only person left on the planet who knows me and still thinks I'm a lady. Her heart is huge and her recipes make me drool.
My Lil Sis
The sister I've adopted. Through shared heartbreak and loss we've bonded and now we're stuck worse than the one time I accidentally spilled that gorrilla glue stuff. A bonus? We kind of even look alike when we try.
I am one of many. I'm a mom, a writer, a sister, a daughter, a groupie, an aunt, a girlfriend, an ex-wife, a SURVIVOR. I write about what's important to me, about what I see and do and experience. I attempt to be humorous, I know I can be sarcastic and occasionally witty. Somewhere along the line I decided it would be a good idea to share myself with the world. Here you go world, don't say I never gave you anything.
