And that's how I learned that I don't like grape vodka...

Good morning world! There's sunshine pouring in the open window in front of me, there's a light breeze bringing me the sweet scent of wild roses and I'm listening to Lady Antebellum's new CD thanks to the newest edition to our group of groupies. Which reminds me...now I need to actually have names for my girls! So...I guess the lovely lady formally known as "fellow groupie" will now be: Miss J and our newest member will be: Miss B. Woohoo! Also, it is T minus 6 days until the boyfriend and I leave for our mini vacation. Yeah, life is feeling pretty darn good right now!

And no, I haven't forgotten, it is indeed time for your weekend update.

Friday night was good. The band was at the same place as the outdoor gig from last week but I actually planned accordingly this time so I didn't freeze. The venue was hosting a BBQ which meant I didn't have to try to figure out what to make for dinner. YAY! Also, BBQ's are quite possibly one of my favorite things about summer so I was in a great mood. Oooh! And there was a beautiful full moon that just made your heart sing! The guys put on a great show, as always and I rolled myself into bed pleasantly tired, still singing along to their songs.

Saturday morning I worked on Friday night's pictures and basically putzed around the house until it was time to get ready. I had some difficulties with my hair...damn Cosmo and their "tips" that don't work. But any lingering annoyance was instantly washed away when we got to the gig and Miss B gave me the above mentioned CD :) If I could have gotten away with listening to it right then and there, I would've. But shhh...don't tell the band that! Another great show from them made even greater by the fact that a few friends I haven't seen in a while came out with me. Oh...and the vodka sunrises didn't come amiss either ;) A little word to the wise though, be cautious of things that sound too yummy to be true. Grape vodka and Sprite (the bar's drink special for the night) tastes remarkably like cough syrup. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Sunday was a lazy morning with the boyfriend and then off to the daily grind for another stupid shift. Just between you and I...I'm about ready to strangle more than a couple of my bosses. But then I came home and relaxed with the boyfriend and started planning out what all we need to do for our little trip. It's pretty exciting folks. This will be the first actual trip that the boyfriend and I've taken together. Also, after a very busy few months, we're both more than ready for a break.

And speaking of that list of things that need to be done before Sunday morning...I should probably get my booty in gear. It would seem that the laundry has piled up around me yet again. If only I had a magic wand...where is that damn Harry Potter when you need him? Hmm?

When did I become such a judgemental bitch?

Is it just me or does this year seem to just be flying by? It's already almost the end of June. And even on the smaller scale, it's already Friday again. It feels like it was only yesterday that I was doing my last weekend update for you. I guess in any case, it really is Friday and that would indeed mean that it's once again time for your Top 9 list. But first, a quick note. I have a notebook that I've been making notes in for upcoming lists. Sad as though it might be, I have been running a bit short on ideas as of late. Any suggestions or thoughts from my readers would be greatly appreciated. What would you like to see me make a list about? Leave it in the comments or email me at RandomMeows@gmail.com and let me know. I promise to give all of your ideas due consideration :)

And now, before I start rambling again, here's your list for this weekend:

Top 9 Celebrities or Public Figures I Love to Hate


~Paris Hilton



"That's hot." Ugh. Someone should just do the world a favor and put her out of our misery. There's just something about the spoiled little rich girls that irritate me from the start. Add to that the assumption that with orange skin, bleached hair and anorexia or bulimia that you're "hot" and I just wanna puke right there. (Ha ha ha...no pun intended, really...) However there is that weird fascination. You know what I mean, that kind of fascination that coined the phrase "It's like a train wreck...you know it's wrong but you still can't look away." Yup...she's exactly like a train wreck, and yet we can't look away.

~Dolly Parton



I grew up with country music and Miss Parton was definitely a staple. There's a few of her songs that I do actually like but for the most part, I roll my eyes at the thought of her. And the plastic surgery didn't help, in my opinion. Seriously...if you're gonna go under the knife, how about reducing the girls a bit, hmm? Instead of getting a tummy tuck so that they're even more pronounced by her pencil thin waist. Her chest has got to have its own zip code at this point. And it's only made worse by the plastic face and drawn on lips. Does anyone else see the resemblance to the plastic people in Soundgarden's Black Hole Sun video? Just curious.

~Oprah (Winfrey, that is...as if it could be anyone else)



The woman doesn't even need a last name. Which is probably for the better since she's been stringing the same guy along for years without having the decency to marry him. Her vast empire is enough to make Katie Couric envious. What I can't stand about her is that she preaches good will while sitting in her gilded palace. If you want the world to be a better place, how about you start spreading the wealth?

~Dr. Phil



If the man is a doctor, I'm the next Queen of England. (Just in case, you all should probably start practicing your curtsies...) The man is a QUACK. His brand of psycho-babble is quite possibly the worst thing on day-time television. The only reason anyone even knows of him is because Oprah gave him her blessing, his own show and propelled him into idiotic stardom. Which just adds to why I can't stand Oprah. See how nicely that worked out for me?

~Lindsay Lohan



Really folks? This one should be self explanatory...especially after Paris Hilton. And she used to be such an adorable little girl. Such a pity. I blame her parents. I don't care if my son becomes famous and makes millions...I will still blister his ass if he tries to pull half of the shit that Lilo has been up to. Instead, her money hungry parents indulged her whims and allowed her to spin out of control. Good job! I'm sure they couldn't have done better if they'd had parenting tips from the Spears' themselves.

~Octo-Mom (Nadya Denise Doud-Suleman)



Ugh. What is the fascination with all of this bad plastic surgery?? STAY AWAY FROM THE KNIFE! And really? She should just stay away from the damn doctors completely. There is absolutely no reason what so ever to have 14 children. Especially when you're a single mother mooching off of public assistance. Especially not when you're having said children with the hopes of gaining some media attention and using those children to barter for even more hand-outs. People like her should be stripped of their rights to have children and forced to have their tubes tied. What happens to those kids when the hoopla dies down and she gets tired of taking care of all of them?

~Simon Cowell



It's almost not fair that Simon's on the list since I don't even watch American Idol. But he's one of those train wrecks. As much as you don't want to pay any attention, you still don't change the channel when his name is mentioned on the news. Also, his attitude just bugs me...is it necessary to always be such an arrogant ass? I can be bitchy with the best of them...but I'm also nice from time to time. (At least, I like to think I am...hmmm....) Although, I will say, I have to appreciate his brand of honesty, even if it is a bit blunt at times. Some one's gotta be the one to not blow smoke up these peoples' butts.

~Jon and Kate...plus 8



I actually watched their show once upon a time. Kate's extreme O.C.D.-ness made me feel not so bad about my own. However, when I started seeing the extras they were getting, well I became quite disgusted. Kate gets a free tummy tuck and complete makeover. Jon gets hair transplants. They get a bigger house. The trips to Disneyworld and God only knows where else. Are you kidding me?? How about we stop exploiting our children for five damn minutes?!?! (Isn't it illegal, anyway?)

~The Duggars



There is no conceivable reason why someone should have 20 children. None what so ever. It is completely unnecessary. Granted, until they sold out and took their story to TLC, they were taking care of their family themselves and that does elevate them above the Gosselins and Octo-mom but still. The world is over-populated, isn't it? Who was the one who thought having 20 kids was a good idea? And I don't care how you look at it...it is NOT okay to be having a baby at the same time as your daughter-in-law. That's just creepy and smacks of trashy younger wives of men in mid-life crises wanting to be pregnant together with their step-daughters. Ew Ew Ew. Okay...I'm done, I think. Ew.


There it is, this week's Top 9 List. Since I'm so obviously a very judgemental person (Took you all awhile to pick up on that, didn't it?) I imagine there will be a few more lists along these lines somewhere in the future. And please, please, please people...remember to drop your suggestions or ideas for other Top 9 lists in the comments. Or, as always, you can email me at RandomMeows@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you all! And on that note, I'm off to start the rock star girlfriend transformation process. Everyone have a safe and fantastic weekend! I'll be back on Monday with (hopefully) some funny stories to share with you :)

Better late than never, I always say...

I fail. I really did have every intention of posting my Father's Day Top 9 list for you on Monday, like I mentioned. However, well...yeah, I procrastinated. And then, while watching David Letterman before bed I hear something quite disturbing. Turns out Time Magazine has stolen my idea.

How dare they!

My original idea for Father's Day weekend was to post a Top 9 list of my favorite TV/Movie Dads. However, according to David Letterman, (And yes, I do get my news from late night talk shows. Sue me.) Time Magazine has already had that idea and published it. Their list has 25 dads though. Anyone else feeling like my list might be slightly inadequate now?

Sadly, I feel like I should just scratch the whole project. Then again, there is something to be said for perseverance.

Instead, I think I may have a viable solution. Instead of my top 9 TV/Movie dads, I've decided to honor my own dad. And yes, this is partially out of guilt for not calling him on Sunday. That doesn't make it any less heartfelt.

I could make it into a Top 9 list for you, but that just doesn't seem to do justice to a man who still lets his almost 28 year old daughter call him "Daddy". A little background for you. My parents weren't married when I was surprisingly conceived, what with my mom only being 16 and everything. Since I don't actually remember my infant and toddler years, I have to trust what I'm told by my family members. However it happened, my mother left my dad when I was about two and married J, who then raised me as his own. I remember when I found out that J wasn't my dad. J and my mom sat me down and asked if I was okay with J adopting me. I was 10, maybe 11. Yeah, I was real qualified to make that decision. Anyway, shortly there after, J and my mother divorced. And against my mother's wishes, J introduced me to my biological father. I think I was 13 or 14 when I actually started to develop a relationship with my dad.

One of my favorite things about my dad is the fact that he's 6'5" or so and built like a solid wall. No matter how tall or grown up I've gotten, I can still run to him for a hug and instantly feel like a little girl again. Since I'm pretty sure I'm all done with growth spurts, I will always only come up to about his mid torso. And I'm completely fine with that. There's something about still being able to be engulfed by a hug from daddy that makes everything okay.

My dad, like most human beings, is not without his faults. No matter how much I love the man, sometimes I wonder how we could possibly share the same genes. I believe I once promised you that I would some day regale you with the tale of how my father made us the butt of a Jeff Foxworthy joke? Well hold on to your panties folks, that day has come.

I'm sure most of you know who Jeff Foxworthy is, or have at least heard some of his "You might be a Redneck if..." jokes. Well rewind to a hot summer night a few years ago. I'm sitting in my dad's living room watching TV with him and my step-brothers. The living room has a sliding glass door that opens onto the covered patio and in what I can only describe as oddly normal behavior, this door is the preferred method of entry...as opposed to the actual front door on the other side of the room. Anywho, since the sliding glass door gets the most use, the sliding screen door that's in place to keep the flies and such outside has gotten pretty banged up. On said evening, the screen door was actually not closing all of the way due to some defect that I've since forgotten. As I've mentioned, it was a hot summer night and thanks to the irrigation ditches in the fields that line my dad's property, the mosquitoes were out in full force. After maybe half an hour of slapping the annoying bugs away and mumbling under his breath about them, Dad had had enough. He gets up and announces that he's going to Wal-Mart for a solution.

We all eagerly await his return. Something about me seems to attract the blasted insects in droves. And I hate it so I'm probably the most eager to see what Dad's solution will be. He returns and proceeds to hang a bug zapper from a beam over the middle of the patio. He then comes inside, all puffed up like a proud peacock. He walks into the kitchen explaining to my step-mom how they were having a sale on the bug zappers and so he bought two of them. This seems to bring on a stroke of genius and he proceeds to remove the second zapper from the packaging and hang it from the middle of the living room ceiling. Yes folks, that's right...and that's not even the worst of it.

Very proud of his brilliance, Dad settles himself back into his easy chair to continue watching whatever movie we had been watching before the blasted bugs had become too much of a nuisance. After a few minutes and more than a few little "zap" noises from both outside and in, Dad looks over to C sitting on the couch next to me and says probably the most redneck thing I have ever heard him utter. (And that's saying something, trust me.)

"Hey, C, turn off the overhead light, huh? The zapper will be enough light."

Oh yes, you read that right. And before I can stop myself, I lean over to C and whisper, "You might be a Redneck if..." and we both dissolve into laughter.

"What's so damn funny?" asks Dad, but neither of us can stop laughing long enough to answer him. And so there you have it. If you have ever used a bug zapper as a lamp you just might be a Redneck.

Thanks Dad, for everything. For always being there for a hug and support when I need it. And if that fails, for always being able to make me laugh...even if you don't always know how you've done it. I love you and I hope you had a great Father's Day.

And a belated Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there, TV, movie or real-life. All us little girls couldn't do it without you!

I am the worst daughter ever! Oh and I fail at other things too, woot...

Holy crap...I truly never thought I would say this...but Thank Goodness it's Monday!!

I have, as you may have guessed, had a psycho crazy weekend. And no, I did not forget about my blog or my wonderful readers. I did, however, forget to schedule time to breath and sleep, let alone time to sit down and write. Silly me.

So since I'm like way behind on everything, how about I just start back at the beginning? That should put us somewhere in the middle of last week, I think.

Hmmm...well after three stay-in date nights in a row (YAY!) Thursday was spent with a trip to one of my favorite places ever...the library!! I know, I know...I'm a nerd. We've been over this. Reading is SEXY. Get over it. Oh and the nice librarian-type lady was sooooo nice and made my whole day when she informed me that I could have up to 50 books checked out at a time. Woohoo! Sadly, they didn't have all of the ones that I wanted and I was sort of running out of hands/arms to carry everything so I left with only 11. Don't worry, I'll go back sometime this week, I'm sure.

Now Friday morning should have been spent writing my Top 9 List for your weekend. Instead I was helping with a yard sale. Just in case you needed more proof that I over-schedule myself, there you have it folks. So all day Friday I was helping sort and move stuff outside for Saturday's yard sale. Then I dashed home to shower and change for Friday night's gig. Which was futile, I should have just climbed into bed and stayed there. I started to feel icky towards the end of the first set on top of being tired from my long day. The snobby bitch that kept blocking my pictures didn't help matters. Needless to say, I was in a less than stellar mood by the start of the second set. Oh, and did I mention that it was an outside gig? So I froze my booty off.

Saturday morning came WAY too early and I was out posting signs for the yard sale before most people had their coffee. The yard sale went over decently and I made a bit of play money so it wasn't a loss. But I was bone deep tired when I rushed home at 5pm to shower and change for Saturday night's gig. Did I mention that at some point I slipped in my flip flops and sprained my ankle? Yeah, real smooth, I know. Anywho...I decided to remedy my tired, sore body with Vodka Sunrises all night long. That may or may not have been a good idea. I was able to be up and down and take plenty of pictures. However....

Sunday morning came and I was barely able to walk. Which was a big problem since I was supposed to be at the daily grind in just a few short hours. So I hobbled my way to the shower and then to Wal-Mart for some sort of brace so that I could hopefully make it through my shift. I did, mostly, and came home, slid into bed and promptly fell asleep. Yeah, I was a terrible daughter and didn't even call my daddy to wish him a Happy Father's Day. I suck.

And here we are. It's Monday and I'm actually happy. The ankle is better, slightly less swollen but still sore as hell. I've uploaded all of the band's pictures from both nights and I'm working on that Top 9 list for you all. And yes, I will be calling my dad tonight.

On that note, I should probably bolt so I can make that phone call and post the list before my show comes on. Eek! Only a few short hours left! Looks like we're ordering in dinner tonight!

"If you believe there's nothing up my sleeve..."

I have a wonderful love for stay-in date nights. And lucky, lucky me, I've gotten two in a row this week :) and it's only Wednesday. That's pretty smooth, right there. And what nights they were! Monday was homemade pizzas and Last Comic Standing. That's right folks...I'm hooked...on a reality show. Lord help me, this could be the beginning of the end. And last night I was supposed to have a project, but plans changed last minute so it was movie night with the boyfriend. (I was real torn up about it, can you tell?)

So rewind to some point last week. I'm not sure what the conversation was, but amidst it I discover that the boyfriend has not seen Man on the Moon (Ws).

"Add it to the Netflix thingy!" I demand. (ha...I actually asked nicely...but "demand" works so much better for dramatic purposes)

And he did. And it arrived a few days ago. So back to last night and the changing of my plans. I hadn't planned on dinner since I was supposed to be gone. The boyfriend and I decide we don't really want "real" food for dinner so off to the grocery store we go. And back home we come, loaded up with tacquitos, two different kinds of trail mix, chocolate and popcorn. Yeah, a real nutritional dinner for me. I don't care...BACK OFF THIS! We get all snuggled in with our goodies and some sweet tea and turn on Man on the Moon.

As you all know, I love Jim Carrey with something fierce. The man is funny, I don't care what anyone else has to say. Now since I haven't seen The Truman Show, (a tragedy, I know...the boyfriend has already informed me of this...don't worry, it will be rectified soon) I have to say that Man on the Moon is his best performance...EVER.

Also, I love R.E.M. so the movie really is just an all around favorite of mine.

Granted, I know this isn't the something funny I promised you, but it sure beats the socks off the melancholy of last weekend. And so I'll leave you with this: If you haven't seen Man on the Moon, I strongly encourage {read: I demand} that you go out and rent it tonight. And be a little goofy. Skip out on dinner and munch on some trail mix and chocolate. Take a cue from Mr. Kaufman himself and go back to being a kid again. You'll be amazed at how great it feels.

ATTN: Will write sarcastic attempts at humor for $$

Oh Monday...if only your stealthiness were appreciated. Instead, you pop up and remind me that I cannot lay about in bed, there's work to be done. Damn you! I don't want to do it!

As you may imagine, my weekend was ridiculously long. It was also an emotional roller coaster, and I particularly hate those. I feel so drained afterwards. I'm almost tempted to forgo the weekend update. Would any of you mind? Although, I suppose the whole point in having a tradition is to keep it going. And I wouldn't want to disappoint any of you...so here goes!

Friday was decent...just another night at the daily grind. Except that it was graduation weekend and we were slammed with customers. And why don't I ever get nice, normal people for customers? I always get the rude, idiotic ones. Sometimes it's enough to make me consider going postal.

Saturday was bittersweet. More time at the daily grind but I did get to see my son :) The band played Saturday night but the venue wasn't very good and they had a poor audience. It saddens me when that happens, it really kills the mood for the band, ya know? Also, I ripped my new skirt. And it says a lot for my mental state that I nearly burst into tears right there...in front of strangers. I don't even like crying in front of the boyfriend so yeah...it's an issue.

Sunday I made beef stew and fresh rolls for the boyfriend. Even though it has been gorgeous the last few days and in the 80's, I've seriously just been craving comfort food and so I made the wintry meal anyway. And then I was off for another dose of stupidity at the daily grind. Seriously, I need to figure out a way to make this writing thing work out and pay me regularly. I'm not sure how much longer I can continue to expose myself to the rest of humanity. However, if I didn't have regular exposure, would I have anything to write for you all? It's a catch-22 thing. Ugh.

And that all brings us to Monday morning. I'm here, I'm alive and mostly well. I haven't yet killed anyone so I suppose that's good news. I have loads to do today, though. Loads of laundry, loads of research, and loads of pictures to crop and post.

I'm truly sorry that today's post lacked any sort of humor. It's just one of those days, I guess. I promise to come back with something funny to tell you though, so don't run away from me quite yet. Until then...

Oh Friday, you're so very stealthy, sneaking up on me like you do...

Lordy, Lordy is it Friday again already?? It would appear that way only that I just can't wrap my head around the fact that a whole week has passed me by so quickly. So I guess since the calendar is telling me that it is indeed Friday, that would mean that it's time for Your Weekend Top 9 List :)

But first, a little back story...

According to my mother, I read my first book when I was a mere two-year-old toddler. It was one of those little plastic bath-tub books with single words on the inflated pages, but I read it! Pretty much I haven't put books down since then. Most people dream about owning collectibles or classic cars or old vinyls. I dream about one day having a library like in Beauty and the Beast. LOL

I want stacks and stacks of books. Shelves so crammed full of novels that it's impossible to tell how many I own. I want to own first editions and entire series and collections by my each of my favorite authors. Which, of course, is a great segue into today's topic. So without further chitter-chatter from yours truly, I present to you:


My Top 9 Favorite Authors (and the books that made me fall in love with them)

**Editor's note: These are in no particular order, just the randomness in which they came to mind.

***UPDATE***
As you can see from my comment below, clearly I fail at counting. Today's list only has 8 authors instead of the promised (and customary) 9. I apologize for my error...it would appear that I was so wrapped up in writing about my favorite authors that I forgot to make sure I had the correct amount. I can't promise that this kind of mistake won't happen again because, let's all be honest with ourselves, this is ME we're talking about. But I can promise to at least try to count better in the future.

Stephen King



As I mentioned, I've been reading since I was a precocious toddler. However, I had parents that actually censored what I could get my hands on and so for the better part of my childhood I was limited to Beverly Cleary, Goosebumps and The Babysitter's Club books. Anywho, I digress. I'm not sure exactly how old I was but I'm relatively sure I was still pre-teen-ish when my parents decided I was old enough to graduate to real novels. And one of my first grown-up books was a Christmas gift of Stephen King's Four Past Midnight (Signet). This collection of four stories opened a whole new world of literature for me. I made it a personal mission to read all of Stephen King's writing before I kick the bucket. So I finished 4 Past Midnight and immediately went to the library and checked out the only King novel they had, Christine (Signet). Which is quite possibly his greatest novel. Stephen King's books embody all that is good horror writing as well as pushing past the mind's barriers of what is possible. And that, folks, is what makes a great author for me...the ability to write the impossible and make me believe that it could actually happen.

Dan Brown



I'm sure that you all know or have at least heard of Dan Brown. He's the author of the infamous The Da Vinci Code. I would like to, at this point, go on record as stating that I liked Dan Brown and his books BEFORE the movie came out and caused all of the hoopla. I don't remember where or how I stumbled across Dan Brown but I'm sure I was probably standing in Wal-Mart craving a new book and just grabbed what looked the most interesting. (I know, I know, I'm real picky, aren't I?) But after reading DaVinci Code and learning there was a prequel I raced right out and bought Angels & Demons: A Novel (Robert Langdon) and devoured that as well. I know that Dan Brown has other novels that aren't part of the Robert Langdon stories and I've read them as well. But they just don't seem to have the same punch that Robert Langdon does. Mind you, I'm talking about the actual character in the books, not the abomination that Tom Hanks plays on screen. {insert me rolling my eyes} Stupid people...Who casted him anyway? Anywho, if I were to choose, I prefer either Angels & Demons or his newest novel, The Lost Symbol to DaVinci Code or either of his other novels. But maybe that's just because I love the plots in those two books best.

Diana Gabaldon



A former co-worker of mine (Miss you Lynda!!) learned that I loved to read and loaned me the first book in Diana Gabaldon's Outlander Series: Outlander, Voyager, Drums of Autumn,Dragonfly in Amber & Fiery Cross (1-5). It was like handing a coke addict a fat rock. I was hooked from page 2!! The entire series is genius but if I have to pick, the third book, Voyager (Outlander), is my favorite. I won't give too much away because I really want you to all go out and read these books but I will tell you that I was able to identify with some of the personal issues in this book more than others I have read. So really, go out and pick up the first book and get ready to cozy up with one of the greatest historical romances you will ever read. I think the best part about Gabaldon's writing is that she has a way of taking historical events and almost warping them around her characters so that you finish the books believing that they are real people who actually lived and participated in said events. And like I said, a great author has the ability to make me believe.

Danielle Steel



I always feel a bit like a sell-out when I tell people that I like Danielle Steel. She's such a cliche answer for girls.

"Oh I love to read! Tee-hee! I love Danielle Steel! Romance is the best!"

Ugh, gag me with a spoon full of sugar. What I like about Steele is not her simple writing for the masses. I like how she can actually make you feel the emotions of the characters. Take Heartbeat for example. The first time I read this book I wanted to scream at one character, kiss another and felt like Adrian's dilemma was my own. There were many parts of the book that I was actually in tears, anxiously turning the page, hoping that there would be good news in the next paragraph. Again, she has the ability to make me believe what I'm reading.

Laurell K. Hamilton



I know that Hamilton is mostly known for her Anita Blake series (The Laughing Corpse (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter)
). However, I had never read her or even heard of her when I was browsing in Borders and saw that they had a special. Buy 3 books, get 2 for free. How can you beat that?? I asked myself. My answer? Well you just can't. So I grabbed three books that I had really been wanting and then I steadily searched for two more to complete my purchase. But lo and behold, they didn't have any others in stock that I decided I couldn't live without. On the verge of missing out on this great offer, I headed back to the front of the store and was stopped by a display of Laurell K. Hamilton's new books. Hmmmm...I thought to myself as I grabbed one and read the teaser on the back cover. Within seconds I was in line, tightly clutching my original three books now joined by two of Ms. Hamilton's newest books. And I was HOOKED! I actually failed and happened to purchase books 5 and 6 in a series and so had to trudge back to Borders and buy the remaining books. However, I consider them an investment. I have yet to read her Anita Blake books, and I'm not sure if I want to. I'm so wrapped up in the world of Princess Meredith (A Kiss Of Shadows) that I almost feel like I would be cheating on her if I delved into a new realm. That's how Hamilton gets you. Her writing is so realistic that you catch yourself wondering if the person sitting next to you on the bus is actually fey.

James Patterson



I can thank my ex-mother-in-law for introducing me to James Patterson. In fact, I believe she actually bought me my favorite novel of his, The Lake House. Again, a Christmas present. The ex's mom was hooked on Patterson's Alex Cross novels (I, Alex Cross.
). I think she may have bought The Lake House by accident and then decided to pass it on to me. However it came to happen, I had stumbled upon gold. I quickly went out and bought the prequel, When the Wind Blows. The books are quite different from the Alex Cross stories...and yet, they aren't. It is still Patterson's great writing at work, weaving a world where corruption and deceit are much closer under the surface than we'd all like to believe. If I could only figure out how he does it, I'd be rich.

John Grisham



For a former lawyer, Grisham has certainly made the jump to accomplished author quite well. Whether they are actually stories from his days in the courtroom or not, it doesn't matter. His writing is so realistic and evokes such powerful emotions that it's often hard for the reader to separate fiction from reality. By far, my favorite John Grisham title is A Time to Kill: A Novel (Mass Market Paperback). And yes, I read the book and loved it way before I saw the movie. Remember folks, I had parents who censored what I was allowed to read and watch. I think I actually snuck this book from my mom and read it without her knowing. (I know, I know...I was a horrible teenager.) My mom isn't a huge reader like I am, but she does own every single John Grisham book. She and my step-dad read them together, it's actually kind of sweet. Anywho, I love that Grisham's writing is just on this side of improbable so that you're left wondering if our justice system really works at all. A Time to Kill is like that for me. I want to run out and correct all of the world's injustices after reading it. If only we could all inspire such a reaction...

Sandra Brown



As far as I know, she's no relation of Dan Brown, but I haven't really investigated that possibility either. If anyone is bored and wants to look into it, let me know what you find out, k? Anywho, Sandra Brown's book Envy was another one of those quick Wal-Mart type decisions. Sometimes I just want something new to read and none of my authors have anything new out...so I make impulse purchases. Most of the time I wind up taking the book into the local used book trader, but every once in a while I find a gem. Envy was, and is, a gem. It has a prologue that makes me drool with jealousy for her talent. The book continues with more twists than a strand of DNA. Brown also has a crazy ability to write this amazingly dramatic story and still manage to sneak in a steamy sex scene or two so that you're left wondering if you've just read a Harlequin Romance or an actual novel.


And there it is... Actually, I could probably write about authors and writing all day as it is one of my passions. Unfortunately the daily grind will be cranky if I don't come in for my shift tonight. And the boyfriend would probably like to come home to dinner...just a thought. So off I go...but before I do- Everyone, please, please, please take the time out to check out these authors. If you like to read, I know you'll love the books mentioned today. And, as always, leave your comments and let me know what you're thinking! Until Monday morning folks!

Peach Breezes, Ja-Mexicans and Glitter...Yep, hilarity will ensue.

Alas...it is Monday again. And as much as I dislike Mondays, I do enjoy my updates for my devoted public :p

This past weekend was another long one. And this coming weekend isn't going to be any better, I'm afraid. However there were some good parts and, as I predicted, some hilarity from the fellow groupie and I. So let's rewind to Friday, shall we?

The night started off a little crazy. The band was playing out of town, so the boyfriend and I had a little drive. That also meant we were slightly rushed since the boyfriend doesn't get off work until 6pm. So hurry up and get the car loaded with all of his gear, stop for a quick bite to eat and we're on the road. And quite a trip it was too... I'm left wondering if the rest of the world took the same driving test I had to take. If so...how did they all pass and receive their licenses?? Damn idiots weaving in and out of traffic, just barely missing other cars, passing in no-passing zones and frankly just driving like idiots. I'm not saying I'm the best driver in the world, but I at least follow the basic rules of general safety. I felt like we were the "extra" car in a scene from The Fast and the Furious. And it wasn't as cool as that might make it sound...

But we made it to the gig safely and got things all set up. The bar had a very nummy drink on special :) and so I was in a happy little bubble most of the night. Also, the bass guitarist decided to buy a round of jello shots so yeah, I was very happy. Somewhere between sets 2 and 3 the fellow groupie asks if I want to go find a store.

"Why for?" I ask.
"To find him some gum." ("him" is, of course, referring to her boyfriend)
"Sure, why not?"

So we make our respective kisses goodbye and hop into her boyfriend's car. Yes, I've had a few at this point, and yes, I am a little giggle-y. Oh yeah...this is gonna be good. Also, now would probably be a good time to tell you that we're in a small town in the middle of freakin' no where. And neither of us have a clue where we are, where we're going or how to get there or how to get back to the bar. Away we go!

Needless to say we got lost and had to stop for directions. Note to the nice lady working who gave us directions to Safeway: Glitter should not be used as eyeshadow. And if, IF, you feel it necessary to use glitter as eyeshadow, it should most definitely NOT also be worn under your eyes so that you look like the negative of a masquerade mask. Just a tip.

So we make our way to Safeway, spend a ridiculous sum of cash on Nicorette and attempt to head back to the bar but...surprise, surprise...we're still lost and now we're not really sure how to find our way to the bar. So once again, we stop for directions. We pull up to another convenience store and ask a woman walking out for a cigarette break for directions. At first, she seems relatively normal, nothing remarkably distinct.

Us: "Do you know how to get to the Front Street Bar and Grill?"
Her: "Hmmm..."
Groupie: "It's by the lake?"
Her: "Oh yeah!" {insert Jamaican accent here} "Here mama, I tell you!"

With somewhat sketchy directions we set out again. As we pull away, the fellow groupie asks, "Was she Jamaican?"

Me: "I don't know..."
Groupie: "She was a little light... maybe she was Mexican?"
Me: "She was too light for either...maybe she was a Ja-Mexican?"

And yes, I dissolved into hysterical giggles. That's right folks. I have coined a new word. And it's hilarious! Seriously, I wish I would've had the foresight to take a picture with this lady. She was white! And didn't appear to have an accent at first. But very suddenly developed one as soon as she settled in to give us the directions. How odd...

Anywho, we eventually found our way back to the bar just in time for the band's last break. We missed an entire set while we were out driving around lost. I would say I was sad about it...except is was so damn funny! Granted, I realize that it may be one of those "you had to be there" kinda things. Guess you'll just have to take my word for it.

The rest of my weekend was spent at the daily grind with brief intervals of sleep. Upside? The boyfriend decided to sign up for Netflix and so we spent Saturday night cuddled up streaming old TV shows through his Wii. Isn't technology wonderful? And why is it that the shows of our youth seem to lose some of the sparkle 15-odd years later? Rocky and Bullwinkle just don't hold my interest like they used to...how sad.

And there you go folks...another fascinating weekend in the life of me. I'm off now to finish trying to upload the band's photos onto Facebook. Have a great night!

"Come, as you are, as you were..."

TGIF folks and welcome to another edition of Top 9 Lists! Today's list is very near and dear to my heart. Yup, you guessed it, it's about music!! YAY!

I've mentioned before how I've been told I'm an old soul. I think the area that most reflects this in my life is music. I was born in the early 80's, making me a member of what is referred to as Generation Y. However, musically (and often, culturally) I find that I relate more to members of the previous birth group, Generation X. The songs, the music, the lifestyle that I connect with most came out when I was just a kid. The early 90's saw an amazing shift in mainstream music. No more were the hair bands of the 80's and the sound that emerged was like nothing mainstream had ever heard. The grunge bands, the "alternative" music became alternative no more. Teenagers and twentysomethings all across America were calling the radio stations and requesting bands that were previously only seen on the alternative-punk-rock scene. Generation X stood up and told the world what they wanted to hear. And radio played it.

Today's list is what I consider the top 9 songs of the 1990's. These songs were picked with careful thought and consideration. Each song has something that I think helped to define that awesome change in the music scene. I realize that this is just a small sample of the music of that era, sadly, not every song or every artist can make this list. In fact, there are many artists that made an impact during that time frame, they just weren't necessarily impacting the scene as a whole, as I saw it. Artists like Mariah Carey, Garth Brooks and Whitney Houston all had their peaks during the 90's...but they just weren't part of the "change" that occurred industry-wide and therefore don't have a place on this list. That's not to say they aren't great in their own ways, they are. They just don't fit the criteria.

So without further ado, I give you:

The Top 9 Songs That Defined the 90's (and yes, these songs are in order of importance)

**Editor's note: Some of the songs' original music videos had embedding disabled so I was unable to post them here to share with you. Instead I found the best live version I could. I do, however, encourage you to look up the original videos and watch them. You'll thank me.)


#9 Creep by Radiohead



Lyrically, Creep seems to embody a lot of the personal angst that defined the era. According to Thom Yorke, Creep tells the story of a man who is trying to get the attention of a woman but lacks the self- confidence to pursue it. To me, it is the classic tale of never being quite good enough. In the 90's the majority of the bands/artists that broke threw the barriers of mainstream music were not the classic idols of the past. They weren't clean cut, all American boys nor were they the sexy, long-haired rock stars of the decade before. They were unkempt and didn't care. Take us or leave us became the unofficial motto for musicians of the 90's.

#8 Loser by Beck



Another song whose lyrics tell the story of not being good enough. Jon Pareles wrote in The New York Times that "The sentiment of Loser...reflects the twentysomething trademark, a mixture of self-mockery and sardonic defiance." Although Beck has stated that it was not his intent behind what he calls nonsensical lyrics, the song is often taken as a satirical parody of the slacker theme of Generation X.

#7 Everlong by Foo Fighters



Everlong makes the list not because it defines the musical climate change that took place in the early 90's but rather because it rose from the ashes that was the crisis of the grunge era following Kurt Cobain's tragic death. That's not to say that Dave Grohl wouldn't have created Foo Fighters without his launch from Nirvana. However, because things happened the way they did, we will truly never know. Released in 1997, Everlong was at the tail end of the "alternative" era. And in my opinion, one of the last few great songs released before bubble gum pop took over the radio waves.

#6 Under the Bridge by Red Hot Chili Peppers



Under the Bridge was the song that broke the Red Hot Chili Peppers into "mainstream". It's extensive airplay on both the radio stations and music television helped to launch the song into immortality. It is very easily identifiable and immediately takes the listener back to a time when it still wasn't okay to talk about drugs or addictions openly. The ground breaking that occurred with Anthony Kiedis's lyrics paved the way for numerous other bands and songs exposing the dirty, un-talked about aspects of teen life.

#5 Losing My Religion by R.E.M.



The phrase "losing my religion" comes from the South and refers to losing your temper. Michael Stipe says about the song, "It's just a classic obsession pop song. I've always felt the best kinds of songs are the ones where anybody can listen to it, put themselves in it and say 'Yeah, that's me.'" And I believe that's quite possibly what appealed so greatly to the masses in the 90's, the ability to hear these songs and identify with the lyrics. To place yourself and all of your pent up teen anguish into the song and feel that there was someone else out there who understood exactly how you felt.

#4 You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette



The thing about You Oughta Know is that it broke the mold. All of a sudden it was okay to be a different kind of female in the music industry. Alanis showed that you didn't have to be Whitney Houston or Mariah Carey to make it. You could be female and rock! You could be raw, scream and swear and have rock guitar in your song and still make it onto the radio. This song's release didn't just add to the change already occurring, it blew all of the doors and windows open and quite literally screamed "I'm a chick and I can rock!" Without Alanis and You Oughta Know would we have artists today like Pink and Haelstorm?

#3 Jeremy by Pearl Jam



Jeremy is another song that is easily identifiable. You would be hard pressed to find a member of Generation X who hasn't heard the song and doesn't know that it's by Pearl Jam. The lyrics for the song are actually based off of two different real stories. The main inspiration comes from an article that Eddie Vedder saw in a newspaper. Vedder has said that he felt "the need to take that small article and make something of it-to give it action, to give it reaction, to give it more importance." When asked about Jeremy, Vedder says, "It came from a small paragraph in a paper which means you kill yourself and you make a big old sacrifice and try to get your revenge. That's all you're gonna end up with is a paragraph in newspaper. Sixty-four degrees and cloudy in a suburban neighborhood. That's the beginning of the video and that's the same thing is that in the end, it does nothing... nothing changes. The world goes on and you're gone. The best revenge is to live on and prove yourself. Be stronger than those people. And then you can come back."

#2 Basketcase by Green Day



Green Day was the epitome of the alternative scene in the early 90's. Basketcase was their second single released but quickly surpassed Longview on the charts. Like other songs on the list, it is easily identifiable as Green Day and most fans of the 90's music scene will be able to recite at least the opening line for you. Billie Joe Armstrong wrote the song about his struggle with anxiety before he was diagnosed with a panic disorder. He commented that "The only way I knew how to deal with it was to write a song about it." The lyrics fit the criteria of the era, easily encompassing the angst and anguish of many of America's youth.

#1 Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana



There is no other way to say it than that Nirvana defined the decade better and more accurately than any other band or artist. They perpetuated the wave of grunge and alternative crossing over into mainstream music. When you ask about 90's music, nine times out of ten someone will site Nirvana or one of their songs. Smells Like Teen Spirit has been widely interpreted to be a teen revolution, partly because of the song's music video. In an interview, Kurt Cobain stated the song was about his friends, saying, "We still feel as if we're teenagers because we don't follow the guidelines of what's expected of us to be adults ... It also has a kind of teen revolutionary theme." When describing the song in a biography by Michael Azerrad, Cobain said that he felt a duty "to describe what I felt about my surroundings and my generation and people my age." And truly, how better to sum up the era?

Honorable Mention: Enter Sandman by Metallica



Enter Sandman didn't make the list because, like others, it didn't define or add to the cultural changes that were happening in the 90's. However, Metallica was one of the few metal bands to make the crossover into mainstream radio play during that time frame. And for that, Enter Sandman gets the Honorable Mention. Without Metallica or this song, I wonder if the metal genre would have faded out of sight?


And there you have it, gang! Again, I stress to you that these lists are my lists and therefore represent my take on things, my opinions. My intention is never to hurt some one's feelings or give misplaced adoration but simply to show the world as I see it. Today's list did have some much appreciated help from someone I consider an expert on music and whose intelligence I admire greatly. Thank you! And as always, I appreciate any and all opinions my readers may have so feel free to comment and challenge or agree with me. This is a subject I could talk about for days. Sadly though, it is time for me to transform into the groupie for tonight's show. Until Monday everyone! Have a safe weekend and don't do anything I wouldn't do :p

I feel the need...the need...to slap the hell out of someone. Who's game?

Has it really been 25 years since an unknown chubby boy truffle-shuffle'd his way into cult stardom?



This coming weekend Astoria, Oregon will be celebrating the day they became more than just a black dot on a map. Monday, June 7th is the 25th anniversary of the theatrical release of The Goonies which, for those of you who don't know, was filmed in Astoria.

And while I'm sitting in my little bubble of nostalgia I see probably the most disturbing thing I've seen all day...a trailer for the new The Karate Kid.



YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS?!?!?! Well there goes my happy little nostalgia bubble. Thanks a lot, Columbia Pictures.

Why do the movie production companies feel it's necessary to butcher classic movies? They are classic for a reason. Take Dirty Dancing for example. It had every thing a good movie needs. A beginning, a middle and an end. The story line ran smoothly. Girl meets boy, girl drools over boy, boy finally notices girl, they fall in love, antagonists intervene, true love prevails. YAY! And then, nearly 20 years later they make Dirty Dancing-Havana Nights. First of all, shouldn't a sequel (or prequel) come along a little sooner than 20 years later? Secondly, shouldn't a sequel (or prequel) have the same characters and have a plot that follows the characters after (or before, in the case of a prequel) the first movie ended? Nooooooooo, not according to the people who make the movies. They've already butchered Dirty Dancing with a "prequel/sequel" as well as The Sandlot. There's already been rumors of a Goonies 2 and now they're killing The Karate Kid. What's next? Top Gun? Ghost? Or, god forbid, Ghostbusters?

I can kinda see the messed up logic of the production executives, though. This thing made us a boatload of money before, nothing else is working, let's see if it'll work a second time. From a marketing standpoint, it makes perfect sense. But coming from me, a movie goer and die-hard fan of the classics, I will boycott any above mentioned abominations. And if they do actually put Goonies 2 on the table, I will picket outside of Steven Spielberg's house and offices.

And so now, I shall sign off...before I risk further legal persecution and potential restraining orders. But before I go...

EVERYBODY TRUFFLE SHUFFLE! :)

Hiring for a domestic. Must work for table scraps...

Happy Tuesday everyone! I hope you all had a safe and fun weekend. Excepting the fact that a good portion of my weekend was spent at the daily grind, I had a great time. I've gotta tell ya, I've noticed that I really look forward to these little weekend updates for you all. I probably should find another name for them, though. I'm certainly no where near the talent of Chevy Chase, Dennis Miller, Kevin Nealon, Norm Macdonald, Colin Quinn, Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler or Seth Meyers. Personally, my favorite was the team of Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey, they had such good chemistry. Anywho, as usual, I digress. Here's your weekend update:


Friday night went swell!! There was a decent crowd if you exclude the falling down drunk jerks who couldn't take no for an answer. Seriously, how many times does a girl have to turn a guy down before he gets the point??

"Wanna dance?"
"No thanks."
"Well why not?"
"Because I'm taken."
"Well you're sitting alone."
"He's on stage."
"Then you should dance with me."
"I don't dance with other guys."
"Well you should."

Are you freakin' kidding me?!?! GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE, IDIOT! So I've decided I'm going to have t-shirts made for myself and the other girlfriends/wives of the band members. They're going to say:

I'm with the band.
And that means NO!

What do you think? I think they'll be a hit!LOL Also, the boyfriend's dad, two aunts and uncle came out for the show :) It was really nice, and I know it meant a lot to him . I did miss my fellow groupie though...her boyfriend is in two bands and was playing with the other band this weekend. So they were both gone. They'll be there this weekend though so I'm sure I'll have some good stories to tell you next week. Us girls usually have a blast together :)

Saturday, as you know, was mostly spent at the daily grind. Sunday saw me back at the daily grind for another dose. By the time Sunday night rolled around, I was near dead on my feet. There's something about minimal sleep and too much to do that catches up to a person. So, as I previously mentioned, I took yesterday off. I spent the day with the boyfriend, played some Scrabble (I actually got my booty kicked at Scrabble...I think I need to practice...how does one practice at Scrabble though? Hmmm...) and relaxed. I even turned my phone off for the better part of the day, which, as anyone who knows me well will tell you, is VERY rare for me. But I needed the peace and quiet and it was wonderful.

Today was back to work. I did sleep in a little bit...but then I got right to work uploading all of the pictures from Friday night on the band's Facebook page. I'm also currently researching a few topics for future blogs. And now I'm here, telling you all about my ridiculous life. It still amazes me that you all read this nonsense. Maybe I should start living a little more recklessly for all of you that are living vicariously through me...should at least try to give you all more bang for your buck. Or not.

And on that note, I'm out folks. I still have a few more things to research and some cleaning to catch up on. How is it that laundry just keeps piling up around me?? I need a maid. Anyone willing to work for food? I make a mean white lasagna ;)