Wednesday, October 6, 2010

One day at a time...times 365.




I absolutely love the fall! All around me the leaves are changing colors and my days are sunshine with a crisp breeze that makes me want to curl up with someone special. How fortunate am I to have the boyfriend on days like this? (In case you hadn't noticed, I'm feeling all sorts of lovey-dovey today...I'll explain more in a bit...)

Alas, I have some bad news for you, my readers. I will not be posting a blog this Friday since I will be spending the day at the daily grind and I still haven't figured out how to be in two places at once. Never fear though, I have worked long and hard to provide this week's list for you today instead. YAY! I know, I know, I'm pretty great.

So why the lovey-dovey mood, you ask?

This weekend marks a special day for the boyfriend and I. One year since we met and fell truly, madly, deeply in love with each other. Or, if you're of the cynical sort, that's 365 days he's been stuck with me. Either way, it's a milestone. Ordinarily, I'm sure we would have a nice date night together...but the band is playing both nights this weekend. So instead we'll be spending Sunday together, hopefully the weather holds up and we can have a picnic. (Yup, I'm cheesy like that.)


And to honor this weekend of love, I have prepared a list of my favorite cheesy, sappy, chick flicks along with what each story tells me about love. Go ahead and thank me, you know you want to :p


My Top 9 Love Story Movies (in no particular order)



The Notebook



True love will always prevail.

Pretty Woman



Sometimes you have to take a wild chance for love to find you.

City of Angels



Even the promise of heaven is no competition for love.

Ghost



Love surpasses all.

The Holiday



If love is meant to be, it will be.

Sweet November (the 2001 version)



Enjoy the time you have together, however short or long that may be.

Ever After



The best rendition of the "Cinderella" story. Ever.

The Wedding Singer



"All I wanna do is grow old with you."

The Princess Bride



There are many ways to say "I love you."


And there it is folks, all of my lovely knowledge, now at your very own fingertips. I hope you all have a fantastic rest of your week and weekend. Don't work too hard and take some time to enjoy the brilliance of nature all around you.

On that note, I should probably go before I make you all sick with my sugary sweetness.

Toodles!

Monday, October 4, 2010

It's a day of births, y'all!



"...Cuz if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me..."

Well here I be folks. Ask and you shall receive...or something like that. I'd just like to say that I know the last two months have been pretty sporadic for my blogging, and I apologize. I won't rehash what's been going on or try to offer up any more weak excuses...I haven't had enough caffeine yet for that. (I actually haven't had ANY yet...I'm on an apple juice kick this morning for some bizarre reason.) And now, on to the good stuff!

The band played this last weekend. (They actually haven't had a weekend off since the beginning of August, but that's beside the point...) There were some highs...and some definite lows. A positive outcome? I think I finally have a working title for my book :) and more material than I know what do with. A negative? I missed football because I was stuck at the daily grind. Is this what they mean when they say life is about give and take? Because, guess what? I don't like it.

And since I'm attempting to multi-task like a schizo-maniac today, here's a quick breakdown of the weekend:

Friday was spent mostly in a fog of cold medicine. Friday night was an out of town gig, back in the city of Ja-Mexicans. There were times I laughed and times I was sure things couldn't get any wackier. I was also consistently proved wrong. We saw a man do the splits while dancing...not accidentally and more than once.

Saturday was a day for errands and groceries. Once again I was reminded why I hate Hell. Saturday night was...interesting. Miss B and I had some laughs and have determined that we're both probably on the quick path to Hell. (the real one, not the Wal-Mart variety)

Sunday was, as previously alluded to, spent at the daily grind whilst the boyfriend got to relax and watch football. Sunday night involved snacky food and Animation Domination. Yup, I'm one of those people. Go ahead, judge me, I dare you.


And now folks, it's Monday and the start of another week. (It's also my Daddy's birthday and the boyfriend's aunt's birthday, so very happy days to them!) I'm off to work diligently on my brilliant book idea. (Many thanks to the boyfriend for his spark of inspiration!) Before I go, I would like to beseech you all for some help. I know I can't be the only person out there who's frustrated by the blatant stupidity roaming the earth. So take advantage of the comment space people!

Toodles and whatnot!

Monday, September 27, 2010

When does my award for philanthropy arrive?




For the record, technology hates me. It's a fact. Pretty sad too, since my joyous livelihood depends on technology. Such is my life.

And I'm not the only one struggling. Poor Vi's mp3 player is driving her crazy, the boyfriend's dad's cell took an unplanned swim and Miss J's water pump and motor took a nose dive... I'm thinking it has to be something in the air. Or the water.

Anywho...at the risk of jinxing myself, the interwebs do indeed seem to be back within range of my fingertips and my cell once again has a working charger to give it life and so I think my techno-troubles may be over. My Cowboys also had their first win of the season yesterday, so maybe the tides are in fact turning...

On that note...would you all like a chuckle for your Monday?

Males should be required to take a class that teaches them how to interact with women. They should also be required to pass a test at the end of said class to show that they have learned somewhat of a lesson. A tip? If you are not a bright crayon, don't even try to talk to me. Or any female with half of a brain, for that matter.

Today's segment of Tips for 'Tards is proudly brought to you by the letters F and V and is directed to all of those ignorant males out there. Don't say we never gave you anything :)





*If I am nice to you, it doesn't mean that I want to sleep with you or that I'm truly, madly, deeply in love with you and require the same of you. Maybe, just maybe, I'm a nice person...at least, I am until you annoy me.

*If I tell you no the first time you ask me to dance, that answer isn't likely to change just because you've now asked me ten times. There is a reason I'm saying no, just take it like a true man and back off.

*There is a proper way to end a relationship, sleeping with someone else isn't it.

*I have a mind, and I like to use it most of the time. Patronizing me, telling me I'm wrong or ignoring me are all prime ways to get the rough side of my tongue...and not in the good way.

*Your good looks are only going to get you so far. So start working on your personality. If you don't think you need any help, ask a girl you don't know. I guarantee she'll have some tips for you.

And if these tips aren't enough, I can be reached here: randommeows@gmail.com

I'll be more than happy to help with your education. I might not even charge you too much, that's how nice I am. Now refer back to the first tip on exactly what that means.



Happy Monday everyone, I hope you all had a great weekend :) As always, any and all comments are welcome. I'll catch y'all in a few. And to my girls that are having a rough time...if it can't be punched in the face or thrown in the garbage, walk away and smile.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Cue the Welcome Back, Kotter theme song...NOW!




I am come home!

Damn it. I know that's from a movie, I even wanna say it was in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves...but I can't be sure...and I can't find it :( Don't you just hate it when brilliant thoughts come to you just on the edge of sleep and then you can only remember pieces of them the next morning? Write shit down, people!!

Anywho. I am back. The boyfriend's awesome friend/former co-worker (Whom I think I have met...but I can't be sure...again, WRITE SHIT DOWN!) has saved us from computer death by donating a desktop to our cause. And then, my sweetheart of a boyfriend fought with the wireless router for days until everything was working again. I don't know how it happens...I just can never thank him enough for all that he does to help keep me sane.

So I know it's Friday, and under normal circumstances you all would be expecting a Top 9 list from me. However, since I've been off the grid, I don't exactly have one prepared. I know, I know...I suck.

But I have a compromise for you...are you ready for it?

I will spend today working on a recap of my time away, complete with a few new Tips for 'Tards for you (not that I'm saying you all are 'tards...) and on Sunday I'll post this goodness for you to enjoy while you're screaming emphatically at the football.

(What is that you say? YOU don't scream emphatically at your T.V. screen?!)

(You don't have to lie to kick it...we know you do.)

Wow...and so now, before I start engaging in further arguments with myself, I'm off to start hardly working...or working hard, however it goes.

I hope everyone has a fantastical weekend. And for the record, I'm very sadly disappointed that not a single person commented and tried a stab at the trivia from the last post. FAIL!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

It's not my fault!! I blame...you!

funny pictures of cats with captions
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Sad story!!

RandomMeows is temporarily out of order. It's not my fault, I swear!!

The computer decided to give up the ghost and now it has to go to the doctor. Since the library won't let me just camp out on their computers all day long whilst I pretend to write and then crank out a blog at the last minute, I have to put things on hold until the our desktop gets better.

I will miss you all desperately. Of course, regular life still goes on so I'm sure I will have tons of great stories for you when I return :) In the meantime, don't do anything I wouldn't do...or don't do anything I would!

Toodles!

P.S. If anyone can comment and tell me what movie that last line (the part in bold print) is from, it will make my day!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

This is the world I live (or die) in...Do you feel sorry for me yet?




So...good news, I'm not dying! YAY!

Bad news? I've totally neglected my beloved blog for over a week. All I can say in my defense is that there were many points over the last week where I really thought I was actually dying. I won't bore you all with the gory details, let's just suffice it to say that I had some very painful female problems going on.

But enough of the bad, let's get to the good! I'm apparently not about to expire. I even made it out of bed today, things are looking up!

Since I've pretty much been in bed for the last week, I don't have any fun tales to share. Okay, that's kind of a lie. I did make a very interesting trip to the E.R. And that, my friends, has led to today's edition of Tips for 'Tards.


Emergency Room Etiquette

First of all, the fact that I even feel the need to write this means that humanity is doomed. Thank you to all of the trash out there that decided to grace me with your presence. I truly have no hope left for the human race. Can I please go back to being a monkey?


1. Shoes are a requirement. It might not say so on any of the notices on the wall, but trust me on this. They are needed.

2. If you have enough air to yell that you're dying, you're not really dying from breathing problems. Give up the charade and let us wallow in our own self-pity.

3. There is a sign asking you to supervise your children for a reason. It is NOT merely a suggestion. If you feel it necessary to bring the entire brood to the E.R. because Grandma's sick, keep them reigned in or get out.

4. Arguing with the T.V. is something best done in private. Unless, of course, you're trying to be certified as nuts. In which case, argue on psycho.

5. If you have to bring a book to the E.R. to keep yourself occupied...how sick are you really? Couldn't it have just waited until the morning when you could have gone to your doctor or Urgent Care?

6. Unless it is a definite case of life or death, take the extra 30 seconds to put on appropriate clothing. I'm not saying you need to be dressed in formal wear, but pants that don't show off your underwear (or lack there of...) when you stand up would be a nice start.

7. COVER YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU COUGH OR SNEEZE. Really. It's not just a suggestion anymore.


And that is all. Actually, it's not. Surprisingly, there were many things going wrong in the Emergency Room Lobby the other night and they weren't all health related. However, my ability to form coherent thoughts is still not quite at full speed and I am rapidly fading. I hope everyone has had a better week than I have.

Before I go crawl my gimp booty back into bed, a quick shout out to the boyfriend. I don't know how the man puts up with me, but he has and does. The sweetheart even held my hand through one of the worst exams ever. He's definitely a keeper :) That is, if he doesn't get tired of all of my whining and run in the opposite direction. Anywho...Good night, loves!

Friday, August 27, 2010

I'm back like that really annoying "friend" that just can't take the hint...




I'm alive!!

Shocking, I'm sure, since I pretty much fell off the face of the planet for the last week. Would you all be jealous to know that even though you didn't hear from me, others did?

The short story is that I spent the last few days of summer vacation with my little man (even though I was sickly) and the fam. And then, just when I thought I was on the mend, Mother Nature struck. Have I mentioned how much I dislike being a girl and dealing with the whole "Curse of Eve" B.S.? So the last few days were spent in bed, whining.

Today I am up, and mostly mobile. (If by mobile, you mean sitting in the computer chair, still in pajamas...) The band is scheduled every single night this weekend so I'm trying to conserve energy. And yes, since it's Friday, I owe you all a Top 9 list :) I haven't forgotten.

I really debated about what today's list would be. It's been such a long week, with so much on my mind that it was hard for me to choose. So I didn't. I had someone else do it for me :) YAY for delegating!

And so, especially for my Lovely Sunshine, here's your Top 9 list for this weekend...You all can thank her in the comments :)


My Top 9 Least Favorite Expressions/Phrases





Part of the reason I hate this saying so much is because an unfavorable person from my past used it ALL OF THE TIME. It got old very fast. And now it's just like a reminder of a weak moment. Also, it makes no damn sense. "It is what it is." Well of course it is! What else would it be? It's one of those things that's just pointless to say, filler speech. You're basically saying, "I couldn't think of anything to say at this point in the conversation but I recognize the need to fill the silence. So I'll say this:" It's lazy.



Ugh. You all know how much I love Paris Hilton so I bet you can guess how I feel about any of the annoying phrases she coins. This one takes the cake though. I can't even really explain why this expression bothers me so much. Maybe it is just because I can't stand Paris...



Oh gosh! {insert big eye roll}
This is one of those things...like baggy pants. You can probably use half of a brain and see how the trend got started. And then some idiot had to make it "cool" and now it's over used and very annoying. Thank you gang-bangers for your contributions to the downfall of the English language.



Stupid Dr. Scholls and their crack-like commercials. Again...it just doesn't make any sense. How does a villain chill? Is he hiding in an igloo? Or maybe they were talking about Mr. Freeze from Batman and Robin. That would make the statement fairly accurate...but still idiotic. Why would anyone want to be like Arnold? And how the hell would your shoe inserts make you feel that way? "Use these products from Dr. Scholls and you will instantly become governor of California without any qualifications whatsoever." That's advertising for you.



My darling younger sisters use this phrase entirely too much. So much so that my son picked up on it a few years ago. Imagine my ex-husband's pleasure when our 7 year old dropped a toy and said, "Oh snap!" It went over oh so well. As my mother so eloquently put it the other day, it's the equivalent of saying, "Oh F*ck!" so why not just say what you really mean?



Gag me. Another euphemism for a vulgar phrase. You're saying you'd have sex with a person. So why not just say it? Because walking around saying, "I'd have sex with that person," isn't culturally acceptable. So we cover it up with idiotic phrases that have no sense. Unless I'm wrong and guys are really going around saying, "I'd spank that," which is equally unacceptable to me. Find a new catch phrase folks, this one's shelf life has expired.



Oh lord. Seriously? Snoop has smoked away one too many brain cells. Creating his own language where things end in -izzle? Next stop, assisted living facility with a special dementia unit. And the problem is, Snoop is an icon so people picked it up like it was the newest issue of Cosmo and ran with it. The result? A bunch of nerdy kids running around creating new words in the hopes of sounding like a gangster. Thanks a lot, Snizzle.



But here's the thing...this makes the list on a pure technicality. It's not something I say or hear too often, but the boyfriend says that he uses it a lot. And he doesn't like it. (Which is odd, don't you think? Stop saying it if you don't like it.) It's very similar to "It is what it is" in that it doesn't hold any weight. Why not just say the whatever the "thing" is instead of feeling it necessary to create a needless segue? Filler speech, I rest my case.



Word. Not as in The Word, just...word. As far as I can tell, it's a cover all word used to mean a number of things. It can be used in response to a greeting, to answer in the affirmative or to agree with a statement. It's ridiculous. What's wrong with saying "Hi" or "Yes" or "Sure"? Did we get so lazy that we had to find one word and use it to encompass all of the above? And even then, were we too unimaginative that we just used the word "word" because we couldn't find anything better?


And now that I've gone through this list with you, I'm even more disgusted with humanity. When did we become lazy, boring, idiots that can only attempt to sound intelligent by covering up our inadequacies with meaningless phrases? Eh, I guess it is what it is, which is to say, that's hot. And now that you've been served you can chill like a villain until...Oh Snap! But here's the thing, I'd hit that, my nizzle. Word.

Have a great weekend everyone. I'll catch ya on the flip side ;) Toodles!