Thursday, August 19, 2010

Tips for 'Tards...or My Attempt at Saving Humanity





I know I always tell you that, contrary to appearance, I am not a judgmental person. I've decided that I must be. Actually, a very dear friend worded it best:

"I am not prejudiced against any one race or ethnicity. I am prejudiced against stupid people."

I think the biggest problem is that common sense just isn't that common anymore. I'm not saying I know everything, but there are a lot of things that just should be basic knowledge...and I'm continuously surprised by the amount of people who don't have this knowledge.

Unfortunately, it usually isn't received well when I try to share my helpful information with these poor, ignorant souls. You would think that people wouldn't want to continue to live life in the dark. You would be wrong. Instead, I've decided that I'll just share my abundance of knowledge with you all. You'll thank me, I'm sure. And if not, hopefully you'll at least get a few chuckles.

So today marks the first in what promises to be a series of intermittent posts that will be loosely titled: "Tips for 'Tards"

That is, until I come up with something better...

And for today's tip:



Ladies, bras are wonderful things. Unless you are an A cup and there's literally nothing there, a bra is your best friend. They should be worn with every outfit and therefore you should have more than one. However, just because the bra is your best friend does not mean that the world needs to see your bra. Think of it like an imaginary friend. You know it's there, but you don't go around sharing it with everyone. (And if you do share your imaginary friends with everyone, then you have bigger problems than I can help you with...) This is included but not limited to: wearing a strapless dress or shirt with a bra that isn't, wearing a bra that is darker in color than the shirt or dress over it and wearing a tank top that is so skimpy it doesn't adequately cover all of your bra.

That is all for today. I don't want to overwhelm anybody right away. That will come later. So take what I've given you today and share it with everyone. This is information the world deserves to have.

I'm out. Have a great rest of your day, world.

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