Dear neighbor with the red door,
This is to thank you for the wonderful wake-up this morning. How could you possibly have known that I would much prefer waking up to you singing along to Lady Gaga as opposed to getting kissed awake by the boyfriend? Or did you maybe think that I was already awake due to your incessant need to allow your screen door to slam shut behind you? In either case, I just wanted to let you know that your blatant obliviousness to your neighbors has been noticed. And possibly I shall return the favor the next time I come home in the wee hours of the morning and your house is slumbering peacefully. After all, we wouldn't want me to be greedy, I really should be sharing the love, so to speak.
Sincerely, your seriously annoyed neighbors.
Yes folks, this is how I have been greeting the morning, nearly every day this week. Needless to say, it's getting old and I'm getting cranky. Actually, it was old after day one and I was cranky after the first five minutes but I'm trying not to be quite so whiney here. It's not really working, is it?
On a brighter note, it's Friday morning and I'm sure you're all anxious to see today's list. In preparation for my weekend out with the band and remembering how well that went last weekend, I've decided to honor my coping mechanisms. So everyone grab a tall glass of your favorite cocktail and read along :)
My Top 9 Favorite Alcoholic Beverages
A Beautiful Sunrise
I know the classic drink is a tequila sunrise, but recently (as most of you may have noticed) I've been hooked on my vodka sunrises. It's the same drink, just substituting vodka for the tequila. Which means they go down just a little bit smoother and there's less of a chance of bowing to the porcelain god later. Add ice to a tall glass, 1-2 shots of tequila or vodka depending on your mood, top with orange juice and a few splashes of Grenadine. Garnish with a cherry and maybe an orange slice and enjoy.
Blue U.V. Cran
This is a little twist on the original vodka and cranberry juice. Blue U.V. vodka is blue raspberry flavored. Mixed with cranberry juice it tastes like black cherry Kool-Aid...which is just fantastic by me :) This is a drink that will sneak up on you, though. If it's not made too strong, you can't taste the alcohol and so before you know it, you've had 4 or 5 and things are starting to be warm and fuzzy. Traditionally this is served in the short glass, but I always ask for a tall. Just tell your bartender to substitute Blue U.V. vodka and you're all set.
Screwdrivers
Ah, yes, my old fall back. If I'm out somewhere and they don't have what I'm looking for or I just can't decide on something, I will order this stand-by. Unfortunately, most orange juice that's used in bars is on the bitter side of things and in case you haven't noticed, I like my drinks sweet...that way there's less of a chance of me tasting the alcohol. Therefore, when I'm making this simple drink at home, I make it with Sunny Delight orange juice. It's sweet enough to counteract the harsh taste of cheap vodka. This is also a good one to make for large get togethers since you can pre-mix it in big pitcher and keep it chilled until it's time to pour.
Bahama Mama
There are about a dozen variations of this drink. I'm kind of picky though, so I rarely order this when I'm out, unless I know the bartender. That's because most people like to add a banana or banana liqueur to this drink...and this kat can't stand bananas...in any form. So if we're making this drink for me (and we are, who else would it be for?) it's equal parts dark rum and Malibu coconut rum, top it off with pineapple juice and a dash or two of Grenadine. You can garnish with anything from a pineapple slice to a few cherries, the prettier the better.
Kryptonite
Ah...this one is a doozy. My cousin got me hooked on this drink a few years back. It tastes great, it's pretty cool to look at...and it will knock you on your booty faster than you think. It's made of equal parts Malibu coconut rum, Midori melon liqueur and Bacardi 151 rum, topped off with a splash of pineapple juice and a splash of sweet and sour mix. I'm not kidding when I tell you it glows in the glass just like it's namesake and it's just as lethal. Two of these in the tall form and I'm just past buzzed, add a third and I'm done for the night.
Alabama Slammer
This drink is the only time I will touch whiskey. Whiskey and I have a bad history. Apparently I get mean and a tad violent and I black out. Not exactly my idea of a good time. These tasty drinks mask the flavor of the whiskey enough that I can have a couple without grimacing. It's equal parts of the following: Jack Daniel's, Amaretto almond liqueur, sloe gin, Southern Comfort peach liqueur and orange juice. This is not a drink where you want to substitute Sunny Delight, the Southern Comfort and Amaretto are sweet enough.
Sex on the Beach (minus the sand!)
Mmm...this is such a girly drink and I love it! It's sweet and seductive, sneaking up on me until I'm all warm and fuzzy and all of a sudden there's 6 empty glasses in front of me. It's also one of those drinks that has about a million variations. My favorite version goes like this: 1 and 1/2 parts vodka, 1/2 part peach schnapps, 2 parts cranberry juice and 2 parts orange juice and a splash of Grenadine to top it off. Serve it in one of those curvy glasses with a little umbrella and you're good to go :)
Pina Colada
"Put the lime in da coconut..." Yummy and then you blend it up and drink it down. Blended drinks are one of my favorite things about summer. I'm a cheater when I make this one though. I buy the frozen mix from Bacardi, add Malibu coconut rum, a splash of lime juice and ice and blend. A little trick to jazz it up a bit, add a splash of Grenadine or some of the juice from a jar of Marachino cherries to the bottom of the glass before pouring in the pina colada mix. Garnish with a lime slice and a cherry and relax on the patio.
Strawberry Mango Daiquiris
This was born of Applebee's and therefore I can't in all good conscience take full credit. A few years ago Applebee's introduced their Main Street 'Rita Swirls. These are Sauza Gold frozen margaritas, two different flavors swirled together. I immediately fell in love with the strawberry-mango one and decided that I could learn to make them at home. (They were running 7-10 dollars a pop at Applebee's and I don't care how good a drink is, that's too much money...) So I bought the frozen Bacardi strawberry daiquiri mix, Captain Morgan's mango flavored rum and some mango flavoring syrup. In a blender you mix up the strawberry mix according to the directions provided, substituting in the mango rum. Blend and pour into a glass, adding some of the mango flavoring to taste. This is one of those happy summer drinks. Blend up a big pitcher of them for your next bbq, you'll thank me.
Ah, bliss! See, just the thought of all of my favorite drinks is enough to mellow me out. And in the words of a wise man from my college drinking days, "I am NOT an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings and meetings are for quitters. I am NOT a quitter therefore I am simply a lush." Thank you sir, I always like it when I have a clever excuse for my vices. I am now off to begin the tedious process of taming my mane and getting dolled up for tonight's gig.
I'm out until Monday but I hope you all will have a fantastic weekend, hopefully somewhat liquefied with one or two of the above recipes. Self-medicate responsibly and don't do anything I wouldn't do...or don't do anything I would ;)
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