There's a very real reason why I shouldn't wake up and immediately turn on the television. I am NOT very pleasant first thing in the morning. Unless, of course, I'm woken up with kisses, then I'm a sweet angel....but that wasn't the case this morning. And we all know what happens when I'm cranky and there's stupidity on television.
"Kids today have it made. Cuz if they don't like what's on television, they've got 40, 50 channels to choose from! Remember how many channels we got when we were kids? 3. And if the President was on, your night was shot. 'The President's on. The President's on! He's on every channel! We're gonna miss Flipper!!'"
For those of you who don't know, the above is a quote from a Jeff Foxworthy stand-up. And yes, for the record, I am a total redneck sometimes. One of these days I'll regale you all with tales of how my father has actually made our family into a Jeff Foxworthy punchline. Anywho...I wake up kinda late, (it's a lazy day today, don't judge me) roll over and turn on the T.V. Only to mumble the above quote, much to the dismay of the boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he's learned by now that if I'm mumbling at the T.V. it isn't going to be a good day.
But seriously folks. Since we only have the very basic cable, it was a scene straight outta Jeff's childhood this morning when I clicked the power button on that remote. The President was on 4 of the 7 main channels that I watch. Two others had info-mercials and Discovery had Cash Cab (Thank God!) which saved me from actually throwing the remote at the T.V. which, of course, would have probably caused the first real fight in said relationship. Pretty sure the boyfriend's not gonna be happy if I plant the remote in the middle of his T.V. screen.
So crisis averted, I settle in to watch Cash Cab (which is like Jeopardy for my generation) and instantly start mumbling about the contestants on the show. Personally, New York City cab-goers are some very interesting people. I wonder how many of them actually watch when their episodes are aired. I wouldn't, if I were them. Some pretty embarrassing behavior there. Very similar to the chick from Wheel of Fortune the other night. (Yeah, I like game shows, SHUT UP!)
"I don't even know what a Fairbanks Alaska is! Tee-hee-hee!"
Gag me! Isn't there some kind of testing and/or screening process to even be eligible to be a contestant on Wheel of Fortune? How did she pass?? Was it because in the mock-game she successfully bought a vowel after each winning spin? Because if anyone watches that show, they know...there is NO-ONE anymore that can solve a puzzle without buying all of the vowels first. The key-word there being "buying". Um...isn't the goal of the game to have the highest total bank? And doesn't buying vowels take from that total? So why would we want to do this? Because America is breeding idiots in droves.
And there you have it...I'm on a rampage with the T.V. again. Will someone please save me from the stupid people? They're going to take over the world, I just know it.
No comments:
Post a Comment