Who honestly likes being sick?
I hate it. I would rather be stuck in a room with my least favorite people for a week than to be bedridden for a day. At least then I would have someone else to make miserable. Plus, the first option offers possibilities of entertainment, if you're of the sadistic sort.
However, as usual when it comes to illness, I didn't have much choice in the matter and so for the last few days I have been battling some freak strain of the flu, as opposed to being entertained at the expense of my worst enemies.
Now those who know me closely know this little fact: I do NOT make a good patient. I seem to have the mindset that if I am forced by powers unseen to be miserable, well then it's my duty to make everyone around me as, if not more, miserable than I am. (Apparently I hold some of those aforementioned sadistic qualities. This should NOT come as a surprise.)
So rewind to last night. I'm in bed. I'm tired, my body aches, I'm irritable and cranky. I'm also, for the most part, alone with my thoughts. Without a suitable candidate for my tantrum, I resort to pouting, whining, complaining and just general bitchiness. When mumbling to myself about nothing of substance ceases to entertain me, I begin to argue with the T.V.
I know what you're thinking, who argues with a T.V.? In all fairness, I suppose I was technically arguing with the programming on television, not the actual set itself. (Because that would just be silly, who argues with inanimate objects? Oh wait...that's right, I do. Moving on...)
I will shamelessly admit that due to my being not in my right frame of mind, I don't recall everything that was said between the television and I. But I believe it went something like this:
(Editor's note: These may not be exact quotations as I, unfortunately, was not thinking ahead to blogging about this little interlude so therefore I neglected to take notes. Sue me.)
(Newscaster): "Up next, have you ever wondered what your dog would look like in briefs or a thong?"
Me(very loud and somewhat obnoxiously): "Are you kidding me?!?! Who the hell came up with that idea? We go from health care reform to pet panties?!"
Me(mumbling and shaking my head): "Idiots."
(Truck commercial): "Come in now for truck month and drive away with a new truck!"
Me(again, mumbling): "Are you going to just give me the truck, like, for free? I didn't think so."
(Newscaster): "Up next, Tiger Woods speaks to the public for the first time in two scheduled interviews. Details after the break."
Me(rolling my eyes): "Because we just can't let it rest, can we? Noooooo we have to keep rehashing his personal life."
I'm sure there was more, but I think I shall stop embarrassing myself now. A girl's ego can only take so much. Also, as I mentioned before, I don't exactly recall everything said and I failed to take notes. Next time I will remember to adequately document my one-sided arguments. As these actually happen on a frequent basis, I'm sure I'll be furiously scribbling notes as I yell aloud in the very near future.
I'm off to bed for more rest (I'm rolling my eyes as I type that) and hopefully I'll make it through the night without throwing a tantrum. Good night all!
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