"After 30, a body has a mind of its own." -Bette Midler

*Warning* Today's blog is primarily for the ladies. Seeing as how I don't really know how it feels to be an aging man.


The thing about getting older, at least for me, is that it's not so much the number that affects me as it's the landmarks along the way that scream to me "YOU'RE FREAKIN' OLD!!"

A fellow blogger is turning the "Big 3-0" soon and her blogs have started me thinking...whatever happened to that list of things I was gonna have accomplished by the time I was 30? I feel like the "Big 3-0" has been stealthily sneaking up on me and all of a sudden I've turned around and noticed it's right on my ass like a bad tail-gater. I'll be 28 in a few months and now all I can think about are the little signs that I'm getting old, that pretty soon I'm going to be that lady instead of that girl.

Here are a few signs you might be following closely in my footsteps:

You know you're getting old if your joints ache or crack when you move.

You know you're getting old if you get called "Ma'am" instead of "Miss".

You know you're getting old when your son asks for a cell phone...and he's only in 3rd grade.

You know you're getting old when your friends ask you to go out and you choose to stay home because your shows are on.

You know you're getting old if you visit a chat room and you could have birthed any of the people in the room.

You know you're getting old if you notice that you have more gray hair than your natural color.

You know you're getting old when you start to look forward to nap time...and you're not in preschool.

You know you're getting old when they don't ask for your I.D. at the bar anymore.

You know you're getting old when you go out Friday night and are still recovering Monday morning.

You know you're getting old when the shows you enjoyed just a few years ago are now on "Nick at Night".

You know you're getting old when your favorite band is played on the Classic Rock radio station.

You know you're getting old if you see a girl dressed to kill and instead of being jealous, you want to tell her to cover up.

You know you're getting old when the people you partied with in college now invite you to weddings, anniversary parties and baby showers.

And finally:

You know you're getting old when in addition to plucking your eyebrows, you now have to pluck that annoying black hair on your chin that keeps popping up.

Just a few guidelines, ladies. I hope they help. And if you have anything to add to the list, leave it in the comments:)