This one goes out to Mr. Brightside

I really need to stop taking these little unscheduled hiatuses- especially if I mean to make 100 posts by my first birthday. If the boyfriend and I could just FINALLY kick these colds that keep lingering around then maybe I wouldn't have spent the majority of the last four days in bed. Since this round of the cold from hell involved me not having a voice much over a whisper, there weren't many arguments with the T.V. I know, I know, you're all so very disappointed, aren't you?

Instead I had plenty of time to think. (When my brain wasn't trying to squeeze its way out through my ears...) Did I learn my lesson and take notes this time? Nope, most definitely not. I'm stubborn that way. Which you should all probably know by now.

In some weird form of restitution for my absence, I've taken advantage of the fact that I have so many friends lately with relationship struggles and comprised the following segment. Enjoy!


Tips for 'Tards: The Relationship Edition

First and foremost, you must stop wishing that a) your last relationship had never happened, b) your last relationship had never ended or c) your ex would die in some horribly fantastic way. I don't say this to burst your bubble (okay, maybe I do get some sick pleasure from bubble bursting...but still...) but because it is vital to your ability to move forward in the relationship world.

Second, embrace being single. I know it sucks to be alone, especially when you're not used to it. However, not wanting to be alone anymore is not a good start for any new relationship. You need to find yourself again and be happy with who you are as a person before you try sharing that person with someone else. Otherwise you're setting yourself (and your partner) up to fail.

Third, it is not always a bad idea to make a list of qualities you appreciate. Writing information down has a way of solidifying it in our conscious minds. I'm not saying to make a "shopping list" for the perfect mate...because, as we all know, no one is perfect. But it is a good idea to know what qualities you can't live without...and what qualities you can't live with. For example, if you're a clean, neat person...you probably shouldn't date someone who is a slob. Just a tip.

Fourth, and I can't stress this enough: COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION. And for all the "special" folk out there- Communication is not simply one person talking and the other listening, swap and repeat. You need to learn to express yourself, to talk about how you're feeling and what you're needing/wanting or you will never be able to have a truly successful relationship. Even if you can't talk about something right at that particular moment, just saying something like, "I can't talk about this right now, but we're okay," can go a long way to preventing hurt feelings or even an argument. Also, as you may have guessed, this one is important for both parties. So if you're dating a non-talker...might want to do some evaluation.

Fifth and final, nine times out of ten, your friends will be right. If you have one friend telling you it's a bad idea you can probably take it with a grain of salt. If you have five friends telling you that your new crush isn't a good fit, maybe you should start paying attention. And if you have ten or more friends telling you that your new Mr./Ms. Right is all sorts of crazy chaos, buddy, grab your things and run for the hills. That many people who know you closely can't all be dead wrong.

I know a mere five tips can't possibly encompass everything I've learned about relationships. However, there is laundry and baking that needs to be done before this weekend. Just a few more days left until Christmas, y'all!

I hope you had a great weekend and you're all happily in the holiday spirit. Much thanks and love to my friends who let me pick their brains for information for today's blog. And double that to my friends whose relationship struggles inspired today's list. Don't fret, it's bound to get better loves!

Until next time, Toodles!