Oh song of my soul!

Music has always been my escape. I clean to cope with anger so that I don't explode and say something I might regret, I read when I need to shut out reality and live in a fantasy for awhile and I write when I'm emotional and don't have an outlet for my feelings. But always, ALWAYS, there's music. When I'm happy, bored, excited, sad, stressed or just me, there's music to play in the background and make me smile.

I'm one of those annoying people who sing along to EVERY song. I've mentioned this before. I happen to think I have a decent voice...but I'm also aware that not everyone wants to hear me belt out whatever is playing. I'm sure there's days the boyfriend doesn't even want to hear me...Too bad that he lives with me and has to listen, hmm? I should probably be a nice girlfriend and buy him some ear-plugs for his birthday.

Anywho...since life has been such a stress sandwich lately, music has become even more of a release for me. On extremely bad days, I take a drive and scream along with Linkin Park. On days like today, when I can't really take a drive, I tune into Pandora or make a play list on Grooveshark of songs that have caught my attention lately and tune out as much as I'm able.

Because RM has been so neglected lately and I haven't done a Top 9 in so very long, I thought I'd share today's playlist which just happens to be my current Top 9 songs :)

Enjoy!

Top 9 Current Songs I Can't Get Out of My Head
(In the order they happen to appear on my playlist...)


Christina Perri's Jar of Hearts



The Script's Break Even



Adele's Rolling in the Deep



Daughtry's No Surprise



Pink's Fuckin' Perfect



Cee-Lo Green's Fuck You



Linkin Park's Iridescent



Linkin Park's A Place For My Head (Still my all-time favorite song!)



Carrie Underwood's Just a Dream (For Tyler, RIP)




As you might have deduced, more than a few of these songs are stuck in my head because I've recently seen them on The Voice which just happens to be my latest Tuesday night addiction...and one of the few luxuries I'm afforded right now. It makes me smile when not much does lately. Well, besides the boyfriend, he can ALWAYS make me smile. That might be why he's still the boyfriend...that and the fact that I'm head over hills in love with him.

Anywho, before I get too sappy for you, I'll let you all go and enjoy my gifts to you :p

Toodles, my faithful followers!

"Come and knock on our door..."

In hindsight, I should have known something was coming. Whenever a shitty week starts with you falling out of your shower and bruising an entire side of your ass, you should probably invest in some psychiatric care. Let's just suffice it to say that if it could have gone wrong this last week, it did.

I promised myself I wouldn't blog about all of this nonsense since it's not only about me. I can't be blasting other peoples' business all over the interwebs if I'm wanting them to still like me and stuffs. So instead, I'll tell you all about how the boyfriend hooked up this little antenna doo-dad and now we have an awesome channel that plays oldies sitcoms.

Case in point, I am currently being distracted from my writing by "Three's Company". Needless to say, I'm a happy kat :) Well, as happy as I can be, all things considered.

Anywho, due to recent stuffs, I will be solely working from home for the unforeseeable future. So any tips, ideas, suggestions or job offers should be promptly directed to the comment section below or emailed to me at: randommeows@gmail.com

And now that I've shamelessly pimped myself out, I'm gonna bail and curl up with some more "Three's Company" :) How's that for a Monday afternoon?

Until next time, take care loves! Toodles!

I need a partner in crime...or at the very least, a coffee buddy.

Agh! Sooooooo much is happening in the world right now. Part of me feels compelled to blog about it all, just because I should, ya know? However, I have prided myself on being the kinda girl who doesn't do something just because it's expected. So I shall NOT blog about all of the ups and downs and craziness that is out there. At least, not today.

Instead I shall tell you how I've recently decided to start accepting applications for the position of girlie.

Now, for those of you who may not know, a girlie is (obviously) a girlfriend. Most females I know have them. For some reason, I fail and do not. Okay, that's kinda a lie. I do have a few girlies and they are wonderful. However, they're all either miles away or I've met them via the boyfriend and/or the band. And while that is not necessarily a bad thing, it can sometimes limit my girl time.

So I'm accepting applications. I've decided on this method because, well quite frankly, I've found that I suck at making new friends. And now you all know my deep dark secret. I am a shy, awkward and uncertain girl who just wants people to like her.

All together now, 3...2...1...GAG!

For those who are maybe interested in becoming friends with a neurotic such as myself, here is a list of position requirements.

+Applicant will be required to be available most evenings and weekends.

+Must like coffee and music. (This is non-negotiable.)

+Liking to read and/or write is a strong point in your favor, but not necessarily required. However, preference will be given to applicants with this quality.

+Must be able to detect sarcasm, use it in appropriate situations and be quick about it.

+Honesty is key.

+Cattiness will NOT be tolerated. And will be terms for IMMEDIATE dismissal.

+Also, it might be good if you were in a stable, secure relationship. That way there will be less temptation for you to try and snag the world's best boyfriend from me. (No, I am NOT the jealous type. Just stating the obvious.) Plus, that leaves the option on the table for double-dates and game nights as couples.

+However, having to ALWAYS have your significant with you will be an automatic disqualification.

Compensation to be determined based on how well you fit the position's requirements and will payed in the form of my attention and companionship. And also, possibly, in baked goodies. Interested applicants should leave their job pitch in the comments section below.


Whatcha think gang?

I'm off to fold laundry while I anxiously (and very impatiently) await my replies. Toodles!


** A disclaimer. I used the pic today because it cracked me up. I am very much straight and still madly in love with the boyfriend and in no way, shape or form am I looking for a lesbian lover. Not that I have anything against lesbians...just not for me, ya know?

Just to recap: I'm back!

Oh roller coaster of life, I'm all done with this ride, thanks.

The ups and downs in my life this last month or so have made me so worn out that I have done little else than just put one foot in front of the other to make it through to the next day.

A quick recap:

The boyfriend and I are still truly, madly, deeply in love. We recently surpassed a year and half of togetherness...and we haven't tried to kill each other yet so...YAY!

The temp job is done and I am once again on the hunt for the perfect employment. In the meantime, I've been playing with my photography and trying to decide if I'd like to be more serious about it. The answer is mostly yes. Now to just have it start making me money.

We've got a busy summer ahead of us and so I'm attempting to start planning some things out now. Which reminds me, does anyone have a cheap, refurbished laptop they wanna give/sell me? I'm gonna need to be mobile real soon...or RM will be on hiatus again. And I don't really want that.

Stress levels still remain nuclear some days...but the boyfriend and I are a team and that is helping us to tackle some of the worst culprits. Hopefully there will be some big changes soon.

The weather has been teasing me with glimpses of sunshine. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Spring may truly finally be here. If I'm wrong, I don't want to know about it.

As for the previous post, one of my favorite girlies is struggling with her soon-to-be teenage daughter. Our convo last night prompted the train of thought: What will I tell my son when that time comes? So there it is...and maybe it'll work and help her or other parents. It's an abyss of unknowns and I'm soooooooooooo not looking forward to it. Where's the button that keeps our children little, sweet, innocent babies forever?

Anywho...I appear to back in the saddle and hope to have some funny/satirical/sarcastic posts for you shortly. As always, any ideas, thoughts and/or comments should be left below. Criticisms should be sent to the circular file.

Toodles my dears! A great big thanks for your understanding and unwavering support :) Without you, there would be no RM.

A letter to my son.

I know it's hard to believe, but I was once sitting where you are now. I had parents that thought they could teach me how to make good choices by telling me about the consequences of all of their bad decisions. I didn't listen then and I don't much expect you to listen now.

It's not your fault, it's human nature. Or maybe more importantly, how we've been raised. From the very first time you rolled from your back to your tummy, we've been praising you for making your own decisions, thinking for yourself and learning from your mistakes. Your first tentative steps followed shortly by a hard fall on your (diaper padded) bottom were a mere glance at what life would have in store for you. And oh how we loved watching you learn.

But now you're at the precipice of puberty and we adults are panicking. Big time.

Instead of remembering how we longed to stand on our own feet at your age, we remember what kids your age are like. And we want to save you, shelter you, protect you. It's our nature, as your parents. We want to save you from any pain.

I don't expect you to believe that I was the child that I want you to be. I lied to my parents, I snuck around and skipped school. I tried alcohol and cigarettes way too young and I got myself into and out of some pretty close scrapes.

I know, from my own childhood, that I can't expect you to learn from my mistakes. And I won't tell you that I regret any decision because I don't. Each one of those choices led me to here. They gave me you, love and taught me about the kind of person I want to be. I can only hope that by sharing, maybe you'll have more information when your turn to make these choices arises.

You are going to have crushes. You're going to "date" and you're going to break hearts...and yes, you'll have your heart broken. You're going to care about someone and you're going to get hurt. It may feel like your life is over, but it will really just be beginning. There will be pressure to go faster than you might be comfortable with, to move more quickly than you really want to. And it's going to take immense personal strength to stand up to that pressure.

You will be bullied. When the time comes and you're the one doing the bullying, remember how it felt when you were in their shoes.

You will have many "best" friends. When a friendship goes sour, try to leave it on the best terms possible and with your dignity intact. God knows I know how hard it will be, but always, ALWAYS try to be the better person. You will be glad you did.

Take pride in yourself and the values that you hold dear but be willing to accept that you won't always be right. Open yourself to learning new things and revising what you've been taught. There isn't always a set right answer. Find what you hold true and stand up for what you believe in.

There will be girls that say they love you and you will tell girls that you love them. To poorly quote Michael Jackson, "Don't go around breaking young girls' hearts." Things won't always work out but remember to treat them as ladies and hold yourself to be a gentleman.

There are consequences to each and every action, some good, some bad and some may not surface immediately. I can't tell you what choices to make, but please weigh the outcomes beforehand. Even just taking one minute of thought can save you a lifetime of hurt.

It is true what they say, as much as is possible, treat people how you want to be treated. Put all the good karma you can into the world and you shall be handsomely rewarded.

I know it won't always be popular to make the "right" decision, but please remember that popularity can and will fade and when it does, your virtue will be all that you can hold on to.

I can promise you two things will always be true.

1) I will always love you. I may not always like what you do or say, but at the end of the day, you are still my son and part of my heart. I can not hate you.

2) You can always talk to me about anything. I can't promise I won't freak out, I can't promise that I will always want to hear what you have to tell me. But because I love you, I will listen and I will offer help if you ask for it.

I'm a firm believer that once the lines of communication have been damaged, there is little to be done to repair them. I promise to not shut you out. All I ask is that you don't shut me out.

You will get warnings, people will tell you all of the horrible consequences for many of the decisions you will find yourself faced with...and you will tell yourself that they won't happen to you. Please remember, they can ALWAYS happen to ANYONE. Protect yourself and be smart. Naivety and ignorance will only bring you pain.

I love you son, and how I wish I could live this life for you so that you will never hurt, never fail. I will try my hardest to not shelter you too much and to give you the freedom to learn your own lessons instead of trying to teach you from mine.

Most importantly, don't forget to smile, laugh and LIVE. You are only young with minimal cares for this short period of time. Enjoy every last second, I can promise you, you will be glad you did.

Spring Cleaning for My Soul...And Yours, too!

This past Sunday was officially the first day of Spring. Since I can look out my window and see a sliver of sunlight, I guess it must be true.

The thing that most people (the civilized ones, anyway) associate with this wonderful season is: cleaning. As in, Spring Cleaning. Yes, that beautiful act of cracking open windows that have been sealed against the winter's brutal cold, relishing in the fresh (if a tad bit too crisp, yet) air while wielding dusting supplies and grand ideas about reorganizing and simplifying their home. I am not immune to this wonder even considering my love-hate relationship with housework. It's just so satisfying knowing that your house is clean. Like, ridiculously clean.

As someone who values the connection between my mind and my physical health, in the last few years I've also made a habit of cleaning out the cobwebs in my emotional and mental homes. Spring cleaning for your soul is just as important as re-alphabetizing your DVD's. (What?! You don't do that?? Craziness, I tell you!)

Clearing out the clutter, throwing away the drama and breathing in that fresh air is vitally important to staying sane. Each day we plug into our friends, co-workers and acquaintances via Facebook, Twitter, Myspace or texting. And each day we take in their drama, stress and garbage.

Take a minute or two and think about it. You log in to check your messages and instantly you're flooded with "trash". Joe Blow has done such-and-such thing to so-and-so and aren't we all just so very pissed at him? Jane Doe is having a crumby day and her world is falling apart and can't we feel sorry for her? Your fourth cousin twice removed is mad at his ex for this and that and wants the world to know it.

Without thinking, we take this all in, digest it and file it into our little Rolodex minds while letting the emotions attached swirl around us. And how many of these people that are affecting us are necessary in our lives? One out of every five, maybe. Unnecessary, and yet, their drama has just become part of our mood.

So how do we fix this, you ask?

Spring Cleaning.

Take five minutes and clear out the "friends" on your social networking sites that aren't necessary for one reason or another. If it's that one girl you worked with three years ago that you don't ever socialize with, you can probably delete her. And if it's someone that you can't delete (maybe it's a relative or someone that would take it personally and cause more drama than it's worth), most sites have a way for you to modify your news feed so that certain people's updates don't flood your screen.

Sometimes it's a little tougher than that, though. Take the "friend" who only calls or texts when they have a crisis. That's when you have to make a decision. Do you keep forsaking your mental well-being just to be a good friend...or do you stand up for yourself and put up some boundaries with this person?

I'm sorry if I'm coming off as preachy today, it's not my intent. I've just got this topic on the brain and felt that it was my duty to share with you all. After a relaxing weekend at the beach with the boyfriend, I've breathed the fresh air and I'm ready to get to cleaning...both physically and mentally. The clutter has got to go or my sanity will instead, I know this about myself. So for those out there that are like me, this has been my advice to you.

And on that lovely note, I'm off to do my cleaning. Toodles!

From beyond the padded cell...

"Look, here she comes now. Bow down and stare in wonder..."

Okay, just kidding. You don't really have to bow down. Simply kneeling will suffice :)

I know I've been away for a bit, but I did warn you all.

These last few weeks have been great, terrible, overwhelming and all sorts of craziness. I hardly know where to begin. I will say that without the boyfriend and some pretty stellar friends, I would have been carted off to a padded cell in the pretty jacket with no arms.

Instead, I'm home...rocking the baggy sweats and one of the boyfriend's t-shirts. Yeah, I'm one of those girls.

I don't really feel like re-hashing the last few weeks since I'm already emotionally spent...and it's barely noon. Although, I will share that while helping the boyfriend sort through some totes in storage, I had an AMAZING laugh session last night. A simple summary? Capricorns like to keep underwear in hat boxes.

**You're jealous of my life right now, aren't you?

***Also, just a side note, the boyfriend is a Leo and no, it wasn't his underwear. I'd rather he not get a bad rep because of my blogging. I still have to go to sleep with this man. I'd like him to actually WANT to cuddle with me tonight.

So anywho, life has been nuts and blah, blah, blah. Tonight will be my third meeting of the book club I created as part of my New Year's resolution. I'm loving it, even if our numbers could use a few additions. Tonight we'll be having a St. Patty's Day themed get-together. I'm making shamrocks later to take along for a little game and we'll have some green cookies and some yummy coffee and hopefully a great convo. I'll be giving away a book and yeah, it'll be good to decompress a bit.

This weekend the boyfriend and I will finally be getting our little disappearing act accomplished. If I have to hog-tie him and officially kidnap him, it will happen. The poor man is so over-worked and overwhelmed that if he doesn't decompress, he might just shut down. It scares me some days, that look on his face that says, "I just can't take anymore." I guess that's the hard part about loving somebody. Knowing they're hurting and not having any way to take that hurt away.

Case in point, someone I love dearly has suffered and there's not a thing I can do for them. I know they're hurting and all I can do is offer to listen. It seems so insufficient, so lacking. But you can't force yourself into some one's grief and so I'll stand here, waiting. Even though all I want to do is envelope them in a bear hug of love and never let go.

**This person knows who they are, and if they're reading this...CALL ME! I love you.

Ugh..and now that I've purged and whined and feel no better, I'm off to finish the hoards of laundry that continue to congregate no matter how often or how much I accomplish each day.

In closing, yes, I have missed my writing terribly and am glad to once again have time to write, if not always the ideas to write about. I can't promise that I'll be back tomorrow, but I can promise that you'll hear from me again soon.

Toodles, my dears. Tell those you love how much you love them.